Joke of the day...

[Deano]

A man walks into a petrol station and says "Can I please have a Kitkat chunky".

The lady behind the till gets him a Kitkat chunky and brings it back to him.

"No" says the man, "I wanted a normal Kitkat you fat bitch".

[Jacobwaits]

Nice...

[nicwing]

Do we need to start a new thread every day like the "What are you smoking"?

[Eddie]

<--- my reaction

< My girlfriend's reaction!

[Superbrother]

Why does Noddy have a bell on his hat?

Because he's a c**t!

[Puff Scotty]

Do we need to start a new thread every day like the "What are you smoking"?

OOOOHHH! wrong side of the bed Nic, naughty Deano put a joke in the wrong place, bad boy......

No.. not if you don't want to, but if you do, feel free, that's what the forums all about, or so I thought anyway

[Puff Scotty]

A man walks into a petrol station and says "Can I please have a Kitkat chunky".

The lady behind the till gets him a Kitkat chunky and brings it back to him.

"No" says the man, "I wanted a normal Kitkat you fat bitch".

In Havana I asked for a "Big Fat Cuban"....she only rolled off two days later!

[Deano]

Nah not a new thread every day, just starting afresh for a few different threads.

[Simon-JG-hr]

So, just how depraved will these jokes go... Always an interesting thing to look at on forums, seeing just how bad things can get from normally very upstanding citizens.

I suppose there has to be a Libya joke along the way:

After claiming in his recent BBC interview that the people of Libya love him and that there are no protests in Libya, Colonel Gadaffi has just issued a new statement:

The DFS sale will definitely end at 2pm today.

[Superbrother]

Bloke in the divorce courts.
Judge says "I'm going to give your wife ?1000 per month"
Bloke says "very nice of you, I'll throw a few quid her way myself now and again too!"

[Bigboned]

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday & the priest almost fell down when
he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, "Murphy, I am so
glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I
misplaced me hat & I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn
had a hat just like mine & I knew he came to church every Sunday. I
also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass & figured he
would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after
Communion & steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal
McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10
Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat
after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said;
"After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would
rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou
Shalt Not Commit Adultery'

I remembered where I left me hat."

[Tzusskin]

A bishop has found the image of Christ in margarine.
When asked for his comments, the Dali Lama said;
"I can't believe it's not Buddha"...

[Bigboned]

Smart Women!
Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul , Afghanistan , several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.

Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, “Land Mines.”

[Dazzy Cristo]

From my 7 year old -
How do you wake Lady Gaga?

Poke 'er face

[Tzusskin]

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream & put a cherry on my head. Yeah life was tough in the gateau.