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I for one can testify to the importance of support from family and friends in these situations. I could never find words to express my gratitude to my friends & family, especially my wife & 3 kids for the support they give me and their understanding when I'm at less than my best..
I was made redundant over 2 years ago now. I'd never been unemployed for any length of time before, having always managed to find more work if something came to an end. This time, however, I couldn't find anything, don't know if it was age or what but despite numerous letters etc I struggled even to get interviewed.
My health started to suffer due to low self esteem etc and I was diagnosed with severe depression. Its no exaggeration to say that without the support of those closest to me I wouldn't be here, thats how bad things were. I've been brought back from that abyss but still find some days a major struggle.
To add to things, as some of you know, I've had an op on my knee which put me out of commission for a while, and more recently had to undergo some heart surgery on a blocked artery (ain't family history great). I'm still undergoing regular treatment for depression and have good days and bad but no matter what my family are there for me. They forgive the mood swings, the short temper, the sadness etc but I am still left with a feeling of uselessness at times as I can't manage to get work. Try being honest and filling in the health part of an application form.....health history, heart attack, depression, heart surgery, age!
Not looking too promising eh!
However, keeping busy doing voluntary stuff on my better days and helping out friends etc when I can. My wife and I hope to start a small business of our own in the next year or so, as self employment looks like one of my most likely options and was in fact self employed for years when younger.
Anyway, I digress. To answer Mike's original point, or try to. Being out of work has been hard. Hard on me and hard on my family both financially and mentally. And yes, I can honestly say that I still thank God for their love and support and hope they realise how much I mean it when I tell them how much they mean to me and how much it helps for me to know that they are behind me all the way even when times are bad.
This hasn't been easy to write as its all very current to me but it goes to show that when it comes down to an individual situation the politics of it all mean nothing. Your own situation becomes all that matters, how do I pay the mortgage, the electric, the weekly shopping etc.
Sadly, the reasons don't seem to matter, getting through the days does.
My wife works hard to keep us going and I do the house husband bit. Money is very tight but we manage and try to keep back a bit for occasional treats eg a few nice Cubans once in a while, but I'd still far rather be working and earning an honest living, than feeling like the lowest of the low and not contributing.
To all my fellow S/BOTL who are not working, stick in and keep trying and I pray that you are lucky enough to have as much help, love and support as I have.
Lionhound,
I can only guess at how hard it must be to carry through under such strain. I have a friend in a similar situation, though he doesn't have kids. It's affecting his marriage and sense of self, and it's clear that when things are financially strained, everything is filtered through that fact.
Lionhound, i cant imagine how you feel, alot of things going on there, I hope things pick up.
Im at Loch Lommond if you fancy meeting up somewhere for a smoke and a chat, Pm me if you like.
Im kinda lucky, going back to Mikes original point. Since ive started working, ive not been out of work for longer than 2 months and ive had 3 jobs in the long run.
However these are not careers and by the time January 2011 comes, i hope to have a career in the mechanical engineering field, however i doubt this much.
Pubs and clubs, here i come :P
I am currently very lucky to have a job I really enjoy working as a greenkeeper on a golf course, and I am in charge of a team of 5 who all work very hard doing an often very physically demanding job at unsociable hours in all weathers.
People are obviously spending less money on leisure activities, so business has dropped off. To cut spending all of us took home much less money this year, and I am now looking at a situation where I am probably going to have to pick one of my team to make redundant in the new year.
It's not something that rests particularly easy on my shoulders as they are all decent hard working guys - all with families, and I know I've got to put one of them through an extremely tough experience. Reading some of the stories on here makes you realise just how much this decision could affect one of them.
We are lucky to be in the position we are in, I work as an IT engineer and my wife is a nurse. Although we don't earn a fortune individually, we earn enough together to be comfortable. We bought a house in a suburb of Aberdeen earlier in the year to upgrade from the cramped flat we were in, so we knew we would have to watch our money from then on. Now we have a baby on the way so things are going to be tight over the next few years unless one of us can wangle a pay rise (I doubt it!).
Aberdeen's unemployment figures are a good bit better than the national average (or they were when I last checked anyway), probably due to the oil & gas industry, but it is an expensive city to live in because of that. Buying or renting will set you back quite a bit more than the national average. We could have gotten a much bigger place in Glasgow but the wife wanted to stay close to her family.
I've really got no grounds for complaint though when compared to some people here. I really feel for my fellow BOTL who are struggling right now and sincerely hope things brighten up for you in the not too distant future.
"Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death." Ayn Rand
I wasnt going to post this, as its still pretty raw, but here goes. I started my business in 2002, we have never done exceptionally well, but well enough to pay my salary and my staffs. I work upto 70 hours a week most weeks (i pay myself for 40) but i am very gratefull that i have a salary coming in. I had a shock when i returned from holiday this year, the company was about to go into administration. Im a shareholder along with 2 other family members. One of them (who runs the financials for me) has completely knackered the company credit rating, etc. I found out i had lost my accounts with my suppliers, and she was buying items on company credit cards. I also found out i had lost my overdraft at the bank. Cash flow is killing me at the moment, and i blame myself for not "knowing" what was happening. The worry of the company failing, which will bascially ensure i lose my house, car etc, is killing me at the moment. Put that with the recent assault on my daughter, and my Mother in law collapsing and being rushed into hospital on friday ( she is very ill indeed and my wife is going out of her mind) i can honestly say i have been tempted to swing from a rope this last week and weekend.
It kills me to admit that to people, and im working as hard as i possibly can to rectify the problems at work, i have a fantastic wife who supports me, and 2 great kids. I could never tell her the way ive been feeling recently, it would devistate her. I have some good friends here, Mike, Mark, Steve , Charles and Spyros have been very supportive the last few weeks, thanks guys you have really helped me through one of the roughest patches of my life.
Sorry again guys to say this, but it has actually helped to get it out of my system.
Lee, I'm so sorry to read of your situation. I can empathise wholly with the stress and distress you must be going through. I know things will get better for you (it can't rain all the time), but I sincerely hope that things improve sooner rather than later.
I'd seriously have a think about talking this over with your wife - there is always (and will always be) endless support from your fellow BOTLs, but this can never substitute the support your wife could give you. I don't know a thing about your relationship with your wife, but speaking from personal experience there are things that my wife and I have been through in the last couple of years that I know I would never have been able to manage alone.
I'm still waiting for the whiskey to whisk me away
And I'm still waiting for the ashtray to lead me astray
Josh Ritter, "Other Side"
Lee, I'm so sorry to read of your situation. I can empathise wholly with the stress and distress you must be going through. I know things will get better for you (it can't rain all the time), but I sincerely hope that things improve sooner rather than later.
I'd seriously have a think about talking this over with your wife - there is always (and will always be) endless support from your fellow BOTLs, but this can never substitute the support your wife could give you. I don't know a thing about your relationship with your wife, but speaking from personal experience there are things that my wife and I have been through in the last couple of years that I know I would never have been able to manage alone.
Listen to this Lee, very, VERY good advise! Tash has suffered through two cancers (Pancreatic & Breast) but we got through it by talking. My business suffered horrendously and 2 years later I'm still trying to get it back where it was but the fact that I can be honest and tell her where we stand financially helps a lot. I'm not preaching here as I dont know your relationship with your partner but read that post again, it may just save your business in the long run. Be well Lee, Strive to be happy!
P.S. My PM's are always open to anyone.
What would I know? I'm just a backwoods roo packin crim from New Holland! LOL. (Thankyou El Cat)
Lee, every small business owner goes through untold stress, laying awake at night, fears you never share with the missus, banks, accountants and all those other leaches slowly strangling you. Draw strength from your family and keep the faith big fella, you will get through it.
Originally posted by Simon Bolivar
Little medical correction there Steve, you will surely die...but not from smoking these
Some very heartening and disheartening stories on here. Sorry to hear about your troubles Lee/Lion - your strength is certainly inspirational to me, and has certainly put my concerns into perspective. I hope things pick up for you guys.
PS. Sorry G-man for a further, quick mini-hijack... just to answer Robusto's question - plenty of examples, but a great one from my inbox today (just shows you don't have to go far to find them): Defra are funding a 'green course' for university students. As though there isn't enough information/propaganda on green issues (take your pick depending upon which side of the fence you sit - I'd err towards info). On top of the expensive advertising campaigns and education, they feel it is necessary to run a course for a very small number of students at high cost. Not only are they running these limited courses, but they only last two hours, and they're paying for the train fares of those wishing to attend. Probably ten grand plus per day, for four days (inc transport between venues). Net result, a lot of money spent for a few people to have something to put on their CV, but haven't spent long enough doing anything for it to actually be effective. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, ?50,000 or whatever isn't a lot - but you can bet that there are plenty of other ridiculous schemes like this, and they'd all add up.
Some very heartening and disheartening stories on here. Sorry to hear about your troubles Lee/Lion - your strength is certainly inspirational to me, and has certainly put my concerns into perspective. I hope things pick up for you guys.
PS. Sorry G-man for a further, quick mini-hijack... just to answer Robusto's question - plenty of examples, but a great one from my inbox today (just shows you don't have to go far to find them): Defra are funding a 'green course' for university students. As though there isn't enough information/propaganda on green issues (take your pick depending upon which side of the fence you sit - I'd err towards info). On top of the expensive advertising campaigns and education, they feel it is necessary to run a course for a very small number of students at high cost. Not only are they running these limited courses, but they only last two hours, and they're paying for the train fares of those wishing to attend. Probably ten grand plus per day, for four days (inc transport between venues). Net result, a lot of money spent for a few people to have something to put on their CV, but haven't spent long enough doing anything for it to actually be effective. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, ?50,000 or whatever isn't a lot - but you can bet that there are plenty of other ridiculous schemes like this, and they'd all add up.
Sorry to hear about your troubles Lee--they sound like a migraine of a headache.
I did spot it, nice work, though I'm still a bit annoyed that some good thoughts, from both sides, from this thread couldn't form a basis for it (but thought it would be rude not to answer Robusto as a PS).
I did spot it, nice work, though I'm still a bit annoyed that some good thoughts, from both sides, from this thread couldn't form a basis for it (but thought it would be rude not to answer Robusto as a PS).
Fair enough--I figured I'd start with my position and leave it open to others to bounce back, as it were.
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