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Is there a Hell?
The Scientific explanation (apologies in advance to: the atheists/agnostics/'Heat' magazine readers etc).
The following comes from aArizona chemistry examination where students were asked to answer the question:
?Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)??
Most students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle?s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) but one student wrote the following:
?First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let?s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell because Boyle?s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives us two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ?It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,? and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct ??.. leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, ?Oh my God!?
The student got an A+ grade.
"Dear . . . (Insert the name of your chosen diety), I wish I'd been that clever at school"!
The Scientific explanation (apologies in advance to: the atheists/agnostics/'Heat' magazine readers etc).
The following comes from a
?Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)??
Most students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle?s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) but one student wrote the following:
?First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let?s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell because Boyle?s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives us two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ?It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,? and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct ??.. leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, ?Oh my God!?
The student got an A+ grade.
"Dear . . . (Insert the name of your chosen diety), I wish I'd been that clever at school"!
Smoke em if you got em!
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