And now......a word from a Newbie !

[Gordonbcb]

This could've been a reply to TJ Coro's thread, but starting a fresh one is likely to have a more satisfyingly annoying effect.............

Here are the Newbie's answer to Don(?) TJ's rules:

New Rule # 1- Please continue bragging about being ?bombed.? Not only is it informative, it's entertaining. We all care what you received from another member. All it does is generate a healthy community spirit...?well done,? ?fine looking cigars, and ?gotta' get me some of those.? IS WHAT I SAY!!! If you receive a gift, send a thank you publicly so we can all appreciate the generosity you have benefitted from!.

New Rule # 2 - Knewbees may start a thread anytime they like. Afterall, those who have been around for a while are running out of things to say .

New Rule # 3 ? All oldies (that's 4000 or more posts) must be subject to a new policy of euthanasia. Thereafter, their stogie collection must be distributed equally amongst the newbies (who will then indulge in bragging, as per rule no.1). This rule will be retroactive to June 2009.

New Rule # 4 - Posts may contain as little words/sentences as you see fit. However, overly long posts which contain more than 3 smileys and more than 2 font sizes would seem to suggest that you feel the content of your post is not entertaining enough on its own.

And my very favorite of them all....

New Rule # 5 ? Young (Ahem) TJ must consolidate his (Ahem) thoughts prior to logging on in future. Non negotiable.

[El Catador]

You go girl!



Woop woop!

I fear dark clouds are looming in your future senor...

Picture the scene. Spaghetti western style.
A poncho wearing, grizzled old Mexican straps on a gun belt, lights up a stogie, and steps out into the noonday sun.

Women in bonnets rush to chase their children indoors, old men in porches sitting on rocking chairs stare in fear and wonder at the sight .
The Mexican narrows his eyes against the glare of the sun and heads off towards the saloon, spurs clanking.
Tumbleweed blows silently across the street, as the townsfolk hold their breath .

CUT TO:
INTERIOR OF: CLICHED WESTERN BAR - MOMENTS LATER

The saloon doors swing open to reveal, silhouetted against the sunlight, the outline of an avenging Mexican angel . The piano player stops playing and ducks out of view , poker players cower under tables, and there, standing tall at the bar is our hero, Deputy Gordon.

Without turning round he slowly and deliberately throws back a whisky and pours himself another from a bottle.
The bartender, visibly nervous, wipes his sweating hands on his apron and says, falteringly,
'Now look you fellas this is my bar, .. I don't want any trouble'.
But, seeing the look in the Mexicans eyes , he too hides behind the counter.

Gordon slowly turns and with one hand sweeps his long dusty coat open to reveal his holster and revolver .
He lets his fingers rest lightly on his gun belt, turns his head slightly, and spits into the spittoon (he misses and the brown drool runs down his chin - slightly ruining the effect , but never mind).
'Your move, old timer'!

FADE TO BLACK
RUN CAPTION
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of: 'The good, the bad and the Newb'!

[Boss Hog]

5 yes's from me there Gordon.

[tippexx]

I don't think we ought to be to hasty or unkind ? after all PG Marro is only a dog ? and really disgusting hygiene habits or not, we don't really want Animal Rights Activist swarming all over what is a very tolerant and progressive thinking Forum.

I think our best bet is to just keep up with his mange jabs, chuck him the odd bone occasionally ..... and hope he goes away to hump chair legs in some fly blown Tijuana cantina where it's acceptable for Chihuahua?s to hump chairs.

As for his Corrie Rules. Well, they conflict with every Tippexx Rule so I just intend to ignore them.

Tippexx Rules.

1. Never use ten words when one is enough.

2. Never overdo the Smiley?s because the poor little round guys work hard enough on here as it is.

[Lascaux]

as the mexican slumbers, the newbies close in...

">" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="344">

[El Catador]

as the mexican slumbers, the newbies close in...

Aye carumba Papi!
So that's what he used to look like before the: whisky = , women ++=, cigars and hard livin' + = robbed him of his dashing good looks and sanity .. + =
P.S Too bad about the 'Dental plan'.

[Gordonbcb]

That can't be him in that youtube clip!! Anyone who rode off into the sunset with Salma Hayek would surely be waaaaaaaaaaaay too happy to be as grumpy as TJ.

[jdawg]

Brilliant thread!!!

[TJCoro]

So...you boyz wanna' play. Well then, Let's Play!

Well, well, well. Looks like a few knewbees know how to play the game after all (it's easy). And in accordance with don TJ's UKCF Marshall Plan too!


Well played, lads....well played indeed! Only wish you had posted on the original thread!


BTW, don TJ and his brujo, don Juan were the inspiration for the film shown in senor Lascaux's video clip. Spirit must have guided your selection.


Pssst! You have a knewbee imposter in you midst. I won't name names, but the hombre has 1K+ posts (clearly not a knewbee) and simply adores the "ChatBox,"


Names Perro, El Perro, and this is what I'm talkin' about.



Maybe El Perro, but can they play with their balls?

[tippexx]

Donni Korro? ..... Donna Kebab more like.

[Stevieboy]

Looks like the new lads are giving you a run for your money TJ... Hahahahaha

[nicwing]

Tosh
I think the old Dog must have spent some of his rest period after his 4k post at the home of the Robusto as he appears to have no cojones!

He comes out with all guns blazing and then posts like a pussycat. Hell he was even nice to a Newbie for christ's sake!

Pussycat!

[Robusto]

[nicwing]

Told you, Robo's had them made up into a set of ear rings for 'the lady wife'!!

[PoohBore]

Robusto couldn't do his own dog so he did TJ instead