Tweet
And Now...A Few Words From TJ, TJCoro
?Saludos, las personas del Foro de REINO UNIDO, que yo entro en paz!
Damn It! Sorry amigos, it's been awhile since I've been in dawg form and me Engliz no so well. 
(Ahem.) Greetings UK Cigar Forum. I cum in peace. 
They call me El Perro, aka, the
Stupid Looking Dawg Smiley, and I represent the late, great 
TJ, TJ Coro and the 
Coro Clan.For those who don't know who
TJ was, go spend a little time in the archives reading his 3000 f
'ing posts, especially TJ' Rules! You just might learn something and save yourself the trouble of posting so many redundant questions 
As many of you know, don TJ and the Coro Clan left their beloved State of Mind, Mexico and this forum shortly after TJ's 3000th post to continue their 
definitive journey into the unknown 
- to dart past the 
Eagle into the dark sea of awareness and to somersault into infinity. He knew that the winds of change were beginning to blow and that his time on this fine forum was up. 
Sadly, no one listened to his 
warnings and some even 
admonished him for his blasphemy. So with a heavy heart, he gave 
thanks for his time here, said 
good-bye to the forum, and left in a bust of 
fire from within. . CLICK HERE!
But after learning that this once fine forum was in trouble and becoming a 
yawn, don TJ decided it was time to speak up. So he sent me back here to post something pity, something shocking, anything to shake up the forum and piss off some of the
knewbees. (Personally, I think he just wanted to get rid of me because of my complaining about the lousy food on the other side of midnight (it tastes like shit, which I generally like) and propensity to sniff butts ? HEY! I'm a the stupid looking dawg smiley...that's what I do! So for all you fuckin'
knewbees who are probably 
scratching your 
pointy heads right about now saying ?what the fuck,? tighten up your 
bung holes and hold onto your balls....it's going to get a wee bit bumpy. 
I present TJ's ?Marshall Plan? to save the forum from total tatters and return it to it's former glory and greatness as the finest puro forum on the planet!.
The following are actual quotes from the late, great
don TJ, TJCoro. I hope you enjoy 'em! 
************************************************** ************************
New Rule ? The UK Cigar Forum must be locked down immediately! This place is beginning to look like all those other 
shit-hole forums up north - the 
Estados Unidos for all you butt-heads who just got here. New Rule ? Henceforth, all new member/
knewbees, must spend their first month researching the archives before posting.. 
New Rule -
Knewbees may not start a thread before achieving 250 posts. Pay your dues lads if you want to play with the UK Cigar Forum
big boyz. New Rule ?
Knewbees must learn how to spell and form complete sentences. Each post must be 
pithy and logical. New Rule - Posts must contain at least two complete sentences or 25 words. No more horse shit like ?agreed? ?me too? ?nice haul,? ?that's for sure,? ?my favorite color is brown...what's yours?? Nobody gives a rat's ass about these types of posts/responses ....well, except maybe you and your
jack-ass friends from other forums.New Rule ? No
bragging about being ?bombed.? Not only is it unseemly, it's a bore. Who the hell cares what you received from another member. All it does is generate more moronic posts like...?well done,? ?fine looking cigars, and ?gotta' get me some of those.? WHO THE FUCK CARES!!! 
If you receive a gift, send a thank you via PM and stop showing off!. 
New Rule ? Less posting and more reading. Just because you were allowed in this place after ?lurking about? doesn't mean you have to respond to every single thread/post! We ain't hangin' on evey fuckin' word you utter, though you may think so.
New Rule ? The phrase ?lurking about? is forever banned.
New Rule ? Young
Saggel must consolidate his (Ahem)
thoughts into no more than 5 post per day. Non negotiable.
New Rule ? No more
Yanks or 
Scots. This place is up to its eyeballs with 'em. Besides, the the Scots are too thin-skinned and the Yanks are always right. And while I'm at it, 
no more members named ?Steve.? 
New Rule ? Senor Paulie must apologize to everyone for no reason in particular.
New Rule ? No more referring to members by their first name.
It's presumptuous and confusing. If you like your fuckin' name so much, make it your User Name. New Rule ? Senor
Rockitinhispocket may not drink and type. It frightens the children and causes the knowbees to believe in the puro fairy.New Rule ? Young Kingcobra will now be know as ?Flounder? and senor Stevietheboy as senor Steviethescot.
New Rule ? Knewbees may not attempt comedy. Christ, your posts are funny enough already. Leave the comedy to the professionals, like
Ray Jay, Ray Jay Coro, Senor Rockinhispocket, and senor Robusto.New Rule ? Senor
Gas (aka, G-Man) must post pictures of naked babes no less than once a week. New Rule ? Senor
Larry must drop his signature quote ?business in front, party in back.? It's kinda' gay, if you ask me. 
New Rule ? If you sign up to participate in the
Secrete Santa, you must actually send a gift, you cheap bastards....and it must be received before the Holidays. Sending one out a month later doesn't count. New Rule ? All
knewbees must give each moderator two of their favorite puros before they can begin posting and another two more before they can initiate a thread. This rule will be retroactive to June 2009. New Rule ? New members will be classified as
Knewbees for the first 500 posts, after which they can be classified as irregular members, mods willing..New Rule ? The first 500 posts must begin and end with a knewbee smiley.
New Rule - All posts must include at least two smileys.
New Rule ? don TJ must be promoted from Magical Moderator to Top Administrator.
New Rule ? senor
CIV must learn to speak English.New Rule ? senor
CJ must learn to smoke a pipe and stop smoking phallic stogies (perfectos for all you dumb-asses) .New Rule ? Senor
Stogiedawg must return to the forum immediately and be given full cellar privileges. Posting is optional.New Rule ? Senor
Brokenwing may never again refer to a paradoxical state of affairs as?irony.? 
New Rule ? Senor
Serious must learn to breath (or blow, whichever he prefers 
).And finally...
New Rule - Senor
Robusto, aka, Viceroy of Video, Ruler of the Rotund, King of Kornfusion, must perform a concert with his new band mates, Los Viejo,
for the benefit of Mr. Kite and the UK Cigar Forum. ************************************************** ****************************
Well hombres, that's all for now. Give it some 
thought. Take a 
poll if you must, but only moderators and members with 500 plus posts may respond. I really don't give two llama dicks what the knewbees think... if they think at all! Hello, my name is
el Perro, aka, the stupid looking smiley dawg, and it's my job to leather up the knewbees on behalf of the late, great don TJ Coro*
Hey, senor stupid lookin' dawg smiley....am I still allowed to play with me balls or is that banned too? 
(Ahem!) Sorry about that last comment gentlemen, but I was forced to to bring back Juggler Boy to assist with the typing and to open my cans - paws don't cum with opposing thumbs as you know...well, maybe not the knewbees *This post was edited and translated by the
Juggler Boy.
don TJ and the 
Coros
Comment