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Well slap my thighs and bang out a ditty on the old Joanna. I nip out for a minute or two to bag a couple o? birds for the old ?crimbo? get together, and whaddya know, I come back in to find that the Reverend George has tried to restart that nasty ?Tea Party? business in Boston all over again.
Firstly, can I just say that I believe I am uniquely qualified to assess the cultural differences between our two societies, having: a) visited Yankieland on numerous occasions, b) watched countless Holywood ballbusters at the ?flicks? (historical inaccuracies be damned!), and c) I?ve sampled what they call ?food? (and found it wanting by God).
Secondly, at our stately home in Barnsley we have hosted a dozen or so ?shin digs? for our less fortunate, Hawaiian shirt wearing, loud spoken, ill-educated, ?a-mary-can? brethren, and found them to be a mildly entertaining if somewhat delusional race.
Let us start with geography shall we? Aside from the fact that your average ?yankadoodle? couldn?t find his ass with both hands and a map, their knowledge of the ?rest of the world? seems to be: ?it?s to the right, they speak funny and don?t like us cos we?re so goddam cool?. This, I?m afraid, is only partly true.
As for History? Let?s not forget that, a) you did NOT win the war, but came in at the end with a fistful of nylons and chewing gum and tried to claim all the glory (and steal our wimin you randy little beggars), and b) You are the colonial equivalent of a ?hand-me-down? jumper, slightly soiled and palmed off to a ?bring and buy? shop.
In summation, I think Uncle Tarquin said it best, when he suggested that, to us, your average ?damn Yankee? was a little like a favourite spoiled corgi (the runt of the litter), always greedy for food and humping your Aunt?s leg when she came to tea, but essentially amusing and harmless, particularly once you?d had it taken it outside and shot?.
Bless ?em all.
El Cat
7th Earl of Barnsley - Three times removed (once forcibly).
Firstly, can I just say that I believe I am uniquely qualified to assess the cultural differences between our two societies, having: a) visited Yankieland on numerous occasions, b) watched countless Holywood ballbusters at the ?flicks? (historical inaccuracies be damned!), and c) I?ve sampled what they call ?food? (and found it wanting by God).
Secondly, at our stately home in Barnsley we have hosted a dozen or so ?shin digs? for our less fortunate, Hawaiian shirt wearing, loud spoken, ill-educated, ?a-mary-can? brethren, and found them to be a mildly entertaining if somewhat delusional race.
Let us start with geography shall we? Aside from the fact that your average ?yankadoodle? couldn?t find his ass with both hands and a map, their knowledge of the ?rest of the world? seems to be: ?it?s to the right, they speak funny and don?t like us cos we?re so goddam cool?. This, I?m afraid, is only partly true.
As for History? Let?s not forget that, a) you did NOT win the war, but came in at the end with a fistful of nylons and chewing gum and tried to claim all the glory (and steal our wimin you randy little beggars), and b) You are the colonial equivalent of a ?hand-me-down? jumper, slightly soiled and palmed off to a ?bring and buy? shop.
In summation, I think Uncle Tarquin said it best, when he suggested that, to us, your average ?damn Yankee? was a little like a favourite spoiled corgi (the runt of the litter), always greedy for food and humping your Aunt?s leg when she came to tea, but essentially amusing and harmless, particularly once you?d had it taken it outside and shot?.
Bless ?em all.
El Cat
7th Earl of Barnsley - Three times removed (once forcibly).
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