Advice from your life experience

[moidoid]

Hi Monkey,

However the way I came to terms with it is that the sort of woman I want to be with won't sleep with my pall. Therefore if she does she isn't the woman I want to be with. the only thing that helps is to not blame yourself and trust me that time is a great healer. I realised that they both did me a favour in the long term, although it really didn't feel like it at the time.

Drew

Wise words here.

I am sure that you are hurting like hell now but in a month it will be a little less, in six less still and in a year or so you will be wondering what you ever saw in her. Much less than that if you meet someone else!

If she cheated on you then she is not the one for you. She doesn't make the grade and you have had a lucky escape. Lucky it was only four years and you didn't get hitched before you found out huh?

I for one have been through this a few times and I am SO glad I did not end up with any of them, else I wouldn't have met my missus!

You'll do alright Tom, just takes a while to get over it.

[cj121]

Never easy ay Monkey, but whilst things settle into whatever shape they will be, get out and do more of what makes you feel good.


However, go easy on the modifications Tom as we all want to recognise you at the next herf you attend mate.

Keep dipping in here too, y'hear

[Habana-Habanos]

Really sorry to hear that mate, I genuinely do hope you get over it soon..

[Monkey]

Gentlemen, thank you so very much for taking the time. Its a big help. Yes, it is correct that its too soon for me to really seek advice i guess, but
I must point out i'm a loner. I don't really have friends, though i have some old mates i might call. I just needed some positive words from people. I'm not good at coping, but this is a great help.

CJ, I'm barely visibly modified anymore lol, stupid job

Thanks again guys. I know its difficult to really respond to something like this and it means a lot to me.

[skyhigh]

not really same situation but back when i was 23 with my first daughter, i lost my daughters mother due to post natal depression/complications and was left with an 8 month old daughter to bring up. my whole world actually collapsed in on me and i suffered depression ans stress for a few months but life has to go on and i had a lovely little girl to look after. to that point i picked myself up, as life is what you make it, and with the help of friends and family started a whole new chapter in my life. 4 years after this met wor lass and now i've got a new chapter and baby lily in my life.

life is like a book, full of different chapters and when you finish one you need a little time to let things sink in and digest its content before moving on and looking forward to the next. you've just finished one chapter, time to reflect, take your time before starting the next. One things for certain when its time, you'll be back into it , devouring and savouring every last drops of it. where will it take you, no one knows but only you can decide if you gonna have a great time, only you can shape it, so when its time grab it by the balls and enjoy the ride.

[jdawg]

Tom,

Sorry to hear about your troubles, mate! I cannot really add to the already great advice you have been given. As the others have said, time heals all wounds.

It is far better to learn this now, then 10 years later after you are married with kids. The one thing to focus on is that you are ONLY 20 years old! I would give my left nut to be 20 years old again.

There are plenty of good girls out there and one day soon you will find one.

Keep your head up, mate.

[Pantomimehorse]

monkey Im always up for a London herf if you can make it in from essex as Im sure a few others are, we always get a nice crowd and chat about the world and everything in it

[Lascaux]

monkey Im always up for a London herf if you can make it in from essex as Im sure a few others are, we always get a nice crowd and chat about the world and everything in it

hell ye, and i wanna see your 'freaky' hand!

[Drewmidorn]

If you decide to all rock up for a herf in london and I'm about it would be great to have a smoke and a chin wag about life, the universe and....well you know the rest!

D

[Monkey]

Pantomime, i may well pop along to the next one and say hello

Lascaux, its not that exciting lol

And yeah i'm only 20, but i tend to think a bit older. I would give my left nut to skip my 20's, wanna trade places?!
A "TheRapist" once told me i had a middle aged man inside me. Considering his age and gender status, i told him "you bloody wish" i'm not mad btw, i was referred for sleep issues. Waste of time.

I'm worried about silly things, like where i'll ever meet people, because i don't follow most traditions of my age. I don't drink, or club etc. I like quiet, civilised socialising. All the more reason to get to a sexy cigar party(lol) i guess.

I see her the last time tomorrow to drop off her stuff. Then done for good and i can get on with things.

[Pantomimehorse]

cool, while Im on for a herf there will be no bloody 'sexy cigar parties 'going on with me around!

[Monkey]

lol, blame Kdot

Well i'll be keeping an eye out for the next one then. Hopefully there will be enough advance for me plan work around it

[Pantomimehorse]

well Monkey Im always on for one, why dont you suggest a date and post it in the herf section? I tend not to be the sort of person that plans too far ahead but I may suggest one for next week or something

[Monkey]

Maybe if I cant make it to one thats already going. But for the next few weeks i've decided i should make an effort to see my old mates on my days off. In particular, i owe one of them a pint, seeing as he was the one who informed me what was going on, before she confirmed it. I haven't even spoken to him in 8 months and he still looked out for me.

[Monkey]

G man was right. I feel awful for her. I pity her more than i've ever pitied anyone. She's a mess, and she hates herself so much. A lot came out today that explains why she is how she is, and i never realised. Looking at her face for the last time is the hardest thing i've ever done. But i managed to walk away, so i am strong enough to heal in time. And i feel maybe in time i'll be able to look back on our time together fondly again.

I have no sour feelings anymore. No anger. Just an acceptance, and sympathy for her, because i will heal, where she will spend a long time, if not forever continuing to hate herself.