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  • Words of wisdom

    I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cigar.
    The day was really quite beautiful, and the smoke facilitated some deep thinking.
    My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said 'nothing'.

    The reason I said 'nothing' instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she then would have asked 'about what?'
    At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

    Finally I pondered an age old question:
    Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
    Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they "know"?
    Well, after a beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
    Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really "know", here is the reason for my conclusion.
    A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
    On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
    I rest my case. Time for a beer, and then maybe another cigar.

    (Adapted from a post on Facebook by Bob Bertino)
    'Cigars are a hobby, cigarettes an addiction'

  • #2
    I pretty sure this is part of a Jason Manford routine as well

    It does raise a good point though, I just wouldn't share the thought with the mother of your children though!

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    • #3
      two sets of wise words!
      "Dear heart, you're talking to a man- a real man- who drinks straight Tequilla, with lime and salt on the rim, and smokes cigars" (J Zavala)

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      • #4
        [MENTION=13402615]PeeJay[/MENTION] - thanks now I am in trouble!
        I just laughed out loud and when asked, what i was laughing about, could hardly say I am thinking....

        Needless to say, Mrs P doesnt agree!

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        • #5
          Lol. Great words of wisdom there [emoji41]

          Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

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          • #6
            [MENTION=13402615]PeeJay[/MENTION], wise words indeed...

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            • #7
              [MENTION=13402615]PeeJay[/MENTION] that's some deep thinking but true mate

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              • #8
                That has got me thinking my misses always plays the "i have a had a baby card pain" now i can say that

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                • #9
                  I can honestly say I would rather have a kick in the nuts than another kid.
                  Far too old for any more of that shit.


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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Johnny Thunder View Post
                    I can honestly say I would rather have a kick in the nuts than another kid.
                    Far too old for any more of that shit.


                    If I ever say I want to have another kid you're all allowed to kick me in the nuts.

                    Repeatedly.


                    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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                    • #11
                      Words of wisdom

                      I've never been kicked in the nuts. I saw a kid get kicked in the nuts at school back in 89. Shit was bad. The ambulance came, he went to hospital, was off school 2 weeks and apparently his piss had blood in for months. Fortunately he wasn't permanently affected & has been able to father 2 beautiful children.


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                      • #12
                        Words of wisdom thread? Ok I will go next.

                        It's the preface of a book I was recently introduced to, it's by an American outdoorsman and pioneer George W. Sears AKA Nessmuk.

                        "For brick and mortar breed filth and crime,
                        With a pulse of evil that throbs and beats;
                        And men are withered before their prime
                        By the curse paved in with the lanes and streets.
                        And lungs are poisoned and shoulders bowed,
                        In the smothering reek of mill and mine;
                        And death stalks in on the struggling crowd**
                        But he shuns the shadow of oak and pine.
                        NESSMUK."
                        Licky Licky before Sticky Sticky. - Puff Scotty 22/03/14

                        Originally posted by PeeJay
                        I get longing looks from guys walking past

                        Originally posted by butternutsquashpie
                        A purge follows a rapid puffing session.

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                        • #13
                          If blokes gave birth it would be: couple of paracetamol, but if a lie down and back to work within the hour.


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                          • #14
                            I'm afraid I can't compete with PJ or Nessmuk but I always try not to eat yellow snow ! And it's always better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're an idiot than open it and prove them right :-)
                            It's not the arrow, it's the Indian !

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                            • #15
                              Share this one on Facebook for your nearest and dearest, its what we're all doing when we smoke cigars

                              12278767_10156191339930361_9177633511911062829_n.jpg
                              'Cigars are a hobby, cigarettes an addiction'

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