Tales from the front

[PeeJay]

Many years ago the Met stopped dealing with lost and found dogs. Then parking offences were decriminalised. Most of our stations have been closed. And now we no longer report lost property or take in low value found property. You are politely referred to our website where you can report your loss on line. Oh, did I mention we don't attend damage only collisions either? And we still don't get to all our calls in time!

[cigarmo]

Or burglaries, car break-ins, muggings, vandalism or anti-social behaviour. But rest easy folks they will still be hiding in a bush near you to catch people doing 33 in a 30 zone

[PeeJay]

Not in London they won't Mo, that's a game for the County Mounties, ours don't care.

[cigarmo]

Lol

[tommy]

They are happy to fly their helicopter outside my bedroom window two nights a week though. Actually a kid killed a dog by riding over it with his unlicensed motorbike on some woodland near our old house (yes old house, we couldn't take it in little Beirut), the PoPo flew the chopper twice that evening looking for that kid. Now I'm not for dog killings by motorcycle per say but what a waste of money. Firstly the kid had long ago legged it to his house or some other safe haven, secondly what's the point in spending ?3400 for 120 mins of Hele action only to catch a flipping 12 year old boy so that you can caution him not to do it again. I don't know this kid was a minor cos he wasn't caught but all the local underaged scruffy fuckers take their bikes up there. Waste of money, save the chopper for escaped prisoners and searches for lost kids, fleeing robbers and geriatric fist shaking... No wait not that. Point being the chopper should be used for catching serious offenders that will do time rather than used for silly missions to save kitties from trees (you get what I mean). Use that budget for more coppers. The budget for the chopper in Exeter (the only stats I could find easily) is 1000 hours of flight, 2.75 hours a day at ?1700 per hour. ?1.7m? The chopper cost is ?3m but that I don't take issue with, its a great resource which IMO is used badly at times.

[tommy]

As if on cue its out there now.

[PeeJay]

I have just dealt with a call where a woman threatened another that she would 'shred her like a duck', such imaginative use of the English language, I love it.

[butternutsquashpie]

I love it.

weird thing to say about that...

[Sean]

Bet the person who said that must of took all night to think of that sentence

[cj121]

Or she had a take away last night

[Wigan]

respect peejay I hadn`t realised what you did

[PeeJay]

Ever wondered why your cigars go astray? I have just spoken to two postal delivery persons in their sorting office who didn't the address of where they were!

[Sean]

Ever wondered why your cigars go astray? I have just spoken to two postal delivery persons in their sorting office who didn't the address of where they were!

I know first hand but we also use a company in liverpool called whistle now to deliver post and they employ some suspect looking characters

[PeeJay]

I know first hand but we also use a company in liverpool called whistle now to deliver post and they employ some suspect looking characters

is whistling any better than yodelling?

[Sean]

is whistling any better than yodelling?

Nope both out of tune as each other