Cocktail Piano

[Robusto]

I have to play schlock piano, cocktail piano, garbage tinkling whilst guests at a dinner gnaw on their T-Bones for charity this very night.

I haven't given it any thought and decided I'd ask you to tell me what you would like/hate to hear whilst you sticky finger out the remains of your syllabub.

I'll just sit there free-associating in a Grateful Dead lovely way.

The band play together after the guests are purpled up on brandy and cigars and people will no doubt frug themselves witless.

I'll be around for an hour or two.

Counsel me.

[nicwing]

Nae problem son

I was listening to Ratcliffe and Makonehey (sic) on the listen again radio this morning and a few things come to mind.

1. How about a Devo medley (are we not me...we are Devo) as they enter, moving into...
2. I always thought the Clash deserved a piano interpretation
3. Metalica's greatest hits should ease them from their Brown Winsor soup into the white fish goujons quite nicely
4. For the desert I thought a little John Cage, I hear he did an item where the same organ tone was played for about 3 months hand then changes, I believe the whole piece was going to take about 200 years, how about a short extract of say 30 minutes.

I gave this a lot of thought, I hope it was helpful.
N

[Drewmidorn]

If you slip in Smack head Jack i'll bung you 50% of my PRS payments from your gig. Even if they paid PRS I reckon we'd both be lucky to see 20p. Mind you i'll personally guarantee you 20p form my own vast fortune! lol

I often think cocktail piano gives you the ultimate chance to be super subversive. Wish I could do it.

Mind you I did just treat myself to a Melodica the other day... maybe cocktail melodica is the way forward!

D

[rokkitsci]

Anything from the studio side of Floyd's Ummagumma ought to raise a few eyebrows.

I have to play schlock piano, cocktail piano, garbage tinkling whilst guests at a dinner gnaw on their T-Bones for charity this very night.

I haven't given it any thought and decided I'd ask you to tell me what you would like/hate to hear whilst you sticky finger out the remains of your syllabub.

Counsel me.

[Drewmidorn]

Anything from the studio side of Floyd's Ummagumma ought to raise a few eyebrows.

Or indeed the A side of Atom Heart Mother in it's entirety.

If you want something more catchy and recognisable blast through Tubular Bells for that "Exorcist effect".

D

[nicwing]

Slip me a large Drambuiui shandy and I will do the drunken hornpipe to close!

[Drewmidorn]

Nic,

That would be value for money!

D

[Boss Hog]

How about smells like teen spirit, there's a great piano version by Tori Amos on youtube.

[nicwing]

Now you are talking Boss!

I think Roboosto has gone though, shall I text him?

[Stevieboy]

Slip me a large Drambuiui shandy and I will do the drunken hornpipe to close!

LOL!!!

[Robusto]

Drew and guys.

I made myself quite incidental. Sitting there NOT for an hour, but for an hour and a half... Waiting for someone to tip me the nod to stop.

I tinkled out gourgeous bollocks. That is...

Riff around three or four chords... Realise this is the chord sequence in a Bowie / Zeppelin (etc) song... Go into that song, nod towards it, play its melody, essentially WINK TO ANYONE ALIVE OUT THERE in a muted Liberace way, or with a big Michael Palin wink (100% suppressed)... Take a swig of Volvic laced with absinthe, twiddle a cable or two, smell the coffee and feel parched...

These cocktail preambles are looney, and I'm no expert at this sort of thing by a very long shot. I just fiddle around on the keyboard as if I were at home. I've done many hours of being incidental jukebox in pizza places, clubs, but not at a wisecrackin New Yoiker, more as a neurotic pent-up-a-sexual shy-ish Brit after a few greenbacks as a student, as a student teacher, as a teacher, as a cigar whore...

Elton John hated playing over chicken-in-a-basket.
Just visualise that, poppets.

We (the band) thought this might be a difficult gig as the age profile was climbing the barometer somewhat. My initial bit went OK, but people at the back wanted to hear it (for fuck's sake!) so my amp had to go up.

When the six of us kicked off, they were up on their feet and it worked. We are a 'safe bet' for such do's.

WHAT'S MORE... A mate I know from another website walked up with a Baco Foil smack-swadge of fat Cubans and popped them on the bar. I didn't know he was lost to the stogie habit. This always takes buddiedom to another level.

What better way to advance a friendsdhip that to select a ripe foil-wrapped Cohiba and light up together looking out to the sea on a hotel terrace under the breezy-grey and slightly drizzly skies somewhere in the Garden of England?...

I'm going to suggest he comes on here, and I hope that he will!

The Cohiba-smack made the night for me!

Better than blowing on a Melodika in whatever guise.

[Alex]

I love your style of of writing Bry, your obscure style of description puts me right there. You ever thought of writing a book.

[Robusto]

I would love to write a book, Alex. I can write, but I don't. To be frank, I spend time proof-reading mates' writing efforts, or marking exams, so the creative free space is not there.

I would want to write fuckwit funny stuff. That's how I morosely view the world. I am all spent on writing dry, researched and annotated academic essays for postgraduate qualifications. I cannot do that serious stuff any more. My mind is too full of speed, if you get my drift. I like to charge along now. I'm not wrapped up in libraries. Done too much of that.

I think if I really wanted to write - as with writing music - I would be doing so and nothing would get in the way. I wouldn't have chosen my job for a start. I would HAVE to write.

(And when I say "I", I mean any of us. I have no gift).

It must be fantastic to know that when you pass away, you are going to leave behind an artistic legacy, rather than to leave behind no real trace of yourself except through the fruit of your loins.

I don't like Terry Pratchett's stuff, but the documentaries about Alzheimer's he made recently showed him sitting at what was really a sort of Star Trek front console with keyboard and multiple screens tuned in to websites and a number of TV channels. I was really impressed because I like to work with stimulus rather than being hidden away with nothing in front of me like a monk in a cloister.

I hate it when people say their careers advisors laughed if they said they wanted to be footballers or writers and actors in the past. As much as possible, people should go for it.

I realise I've advised my own kids to go for a safe route where they might get a decent income eventually. I am not so free and easy as to ignore the possibility/probability of a decent and regular wage-cheque at the end.

That's it, then, Robusto - You take no risks.

Why am I waffling???
Answer: Because it stops me doing more marking.

Anyway... Last night's playing was for a fundraising ball for a local breast cancer charity and I think they will have done very well.