Things we make.

[PeeJay]

poor united kingdomers..... lack of firearms and everything. how do you deal!?
don't you know the feeling of firing an RPG at a maniacal bear to protect your giddy aunt!?!

Enough of your silly knives. what you need is a healthy influx of depleted uranium grenade launchers that use Sarin as a secondary armamant.

Hmmm, age showing there Jeremy, or lack of it! Unknown-3.jpeg

[MrMaduro]

Cheers guys! I assure you it was my handywork! I'll take it as a very nice compliment that you think it looks 'professional'! They're not incredibly difficult to make. I followed tips from a guy who posted a tutorial on the net called 'GreenPete'. I roughly followed his guidance and adapted it to suit my available recources.

I've got a few more odd bits and bobs I've done which I'll post up soon

[tommy]

poor united kingdomers..... lack of firearms and everything. how do you deal!?
don't you know the feeling of firing an RPG at a maniacal bear to protect your giddy aunt!?!

Enough of your silly knives. what you need is a healthy influx of depleted uranium grenade launchers that use Sarin as a secondary armamant.

You guys do it from a distance, we get up close and personal then slip a blade between your third and fourth rib[emoji6]
Love you x

[Wigan]

You have inspired me to use tonight's slacking off, err I mean night shift to make something for me.
If I cant get a free machine to start on cigar measuring tool I am making something else by hand if need be, don't care how small, or insignificant, I am making something for me dag nam it!

[MrMaduro]

You have inspired me to use tonight's slacking off, err I mean night shift to make something for me.
If I cant get a free machine to start on cigar measuring tool I am making something else by hand if need be, don't care how small, or insignificant, I am making something for me dag nam it!

Do it! Doesn't matter what it is, you'll get more pleasure out of it if you make it yourself!

Sent from Tapa Tapa land

[tommy]

Things we make.

Green Tomato Spicy Chutney

This is something I make every year with all the green tomatoes and any that are left uneaten when the plants start to wither up and die. It goes like this.

2kg onions (whatever you like)
500g of Muscovado sugar (I had light in the cupboard but dark is good)
500g of raisins
500ml malt vinegar
A good dash of balsamic (not the best stuff but not that fake crap either)
2kg tomatoes

The Spice Mix:

Salt to taste
Two tablespoons of black peppercorns (I used some that have been cold smoked)
Chillies to taste (I used dried ones we grew last year)
Two chipotle chillies whole
Teaspoon of mustard seeds
Teaspoon of coriander seeds
Teaspoon of fenugreek seeds

The Method:

Chop up a load of onions, I don't use measurements but for the purposes of this thread I've given rough amounts above.

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413710460.786467.jpg

Pop those in your large stock pot or jamming pot on some oil and slowly let them go jammy.

Pop all the spices into a spice grinder or pestle and mortar and grind it all to a fine powder. Add to the onions and stir it in.

Roughly chop the raisins to help them release their juicy goodness later. Add those to the onions once the onions are nice and jammy. Stir in and leave to combine a bit while you wash and prepare your tomatoes.

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711537.242005.jpg

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711473.577493.jpg

Mine were in the freezer so they went straight in as the skins had burst anyway. You now have all the fruit and onions in your pot with the spices.

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711504.542150.jpgImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711516.030531.jpg

next you need to add the sugar and vinegars, I put the sugar inImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711573.976930.jpg
Then the balsamic, not the nice stuff on the right!ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711607.509406.jpg
ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711618.316689.jpg
Lastly pop in the malt vinegar to dissolve the sugar into the mixImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711664.372235.jpgImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711678.846751.jpg

And don't forget to leave everything tidy and sparkling clean or Mrs BOTL will be removing your nads. ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413711742.079410.jpg

That's it! Hubble bubble for a few hours, two with a lid then two without would be a guide but you have to keep watching it. You know it's ready when it is completely dark in colour with no pretty red or green tomatoes showing and with a thick consistency to the liquid. I pot it up in Kilmer jars but you can reuse jam jars, they must be sterile so pop them in the oven for ten mins then leave them to cool enough to handle. Try to have that done in time for the end of the cooking process so that you can put the chutney into them hot and seal the kids before it cools, you then reduce the risk of germs being in the jars.

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413712206.495274.jpg

[ValeTudoGuy]

Looking good Tommy!

[tommy]

Thanks, I got this much: ImageUploadedByTapatalk1413744081.336372.jpg
I'm pleased with this batch it has a nice spice with not a hint of Christmas but a tiny curryesque savouriness. Quite hot too.

[Tucky]

Looks good mate. Shall we be seeing a regular 'Cooking with tommy' slot on UKCF?

"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[tommy]

Why not.

[ValeTudoGuy]

I vote for "Drunken cooking with Tommy."

[Tucky]

As long as he's not the literal 'naked chef'

"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[Budgie Smuggler]

I vote for "Drunken cooking with Tommy."

Like the guys from Epic Mealtime?

[ValeTudoGuy]

Like the guys from Epic Mealtime?

I love that!

MAYONAISE!

[Budgie Smuggler]

It's the cans of bacon that get me, no doubt it'll make it over here before long.

Did you see the Fast Food Lasagne episode? [emoji23]