A Man's Best Friend

[rokkitsci]

There is no shame in mourning the loss of a faithful friend, although I prefer to call them our fur children.

[TJCoro]

We share your saddness.

Bryan and Family,

The Coro Family share in your loss and would like to offer a lovely story that helped us through the losses of our beloved dogs, Bernie and Eddie, a few years ago. We hope it helps you find some solace.

Rainbow Bridge

[Drewmidorn]

I think the saying "mans best friend" has come about for some very good reasons. Nothing in this world will love you as unconditionally as a dog (how about greyfriars bobby?). I still have a photo of my old welsh terrier "Jack" in the lounge. I still have a tear once in a while for him. He died over 18 years ago and is the best friend I have ever had. I would love another dog, but coupled with my lifestyle and assuming I will outlive one and have to see him off its not going to happen.

Every once in a while its ok for us to let the hard man of rock and roll image slip. No one with the slightest sense of compassion would say otherwise. It's just like a hat... you put it on to go onstage. It's working out where the stage ends thats the tricky part. You're offstage today!

[Robusto]

Hat analogy is a great one, Drew. Like... Which mask shall I wear today? And how long do I keep it on for?

Fortunately this week has been a week off. I'm not quite sure how steely I could have been were this a working week.

We were laughing here last night about how Max had a party balloon of a knob with a couple of massive plums for an undercarriage, and how the very few ultra-polite people we know would not know how to deal with the B52 in their face once they'd spotted it. Most of our friends would go Fucking Hell, Max! and almost die laughing. He would cheer people up in parks and in the town centre when they copped for a landscape view.

And this was when his cock was at rest, you understand!

We should have enlisted him in some dog porn studio or other.

Looking through pictures here today, I realise - and this saddens me - that Max was the man who herfed with me more than anyone else. I'm going to miss him during smoking sessions as he was always hanging around nearby.

For the record, I consider myself to be a pretty expressive guy. I'm more for letting things out than keeping them in. The latter route has got me into difficulty in the past, but you learn as you travel, I think.

I apologise if this all seems self-indulgent.

This picture sort of sums up many hours with my wonderful dog in my hideaway.
Just sitting, resting, being relaxed and thinking good things.





TJ - That story made me cry.

[PoohBore]

I really feel for you. Just remember as the days and weeks pass the pain is slowly displaced by memories of the good times - the keep fit sessions and the relaxing Herf meets in the garden room. keep your chin up.

[cptspaulding]

Sad news. Sorry for your loss.

[TJCoro]

Me too, Bryan.

TJ - That story made me cry.

Me too, Bryan. I share your tears for your amigo Max as I'm reminded of my decest puro buddies (Bernie, Eddie, and Phoebe). Best friends actually. A lot of fine dog lovers on this forum, apparently.

Nice to know.

[Robusto]

You are gentlemen for these comments. It is a help.

It's going to take a while to come downstairs and not get the greeting we're used to. We're all feeling the absence of claws on wooden floors and water being lapped up... and not speaking or calling out in a dog-pitch or with special words and whistles and sucked lips.

By the time we got Max to the vet's, he was very unwell. He just withdrew into himself. A beautiful, waggy-tailed dog just immobile on the vet's table with really distant eyes. They suspected liver problems and the vet said he'd probably got a week left at most. That was at 0900. At 1130, the vet had done some blood tests and deduced that the liver was not infected and that the situation looked less serious and they'd keep him in overnight for observation. Then at 1630 we were phoned that Max had just passed away and that there was obviously something more serious that they couldn't deduce.

I'm relieved we didn't have to make the decision to have him put down.

I cannot remember the last time I cried. I really can't. It's still happening on and off and I'd like it to stop. I'm going to try to busy myself with work here.

I looked at the website of the lab rescue centre round here and there is an identikit golden lab - same age, looks, history - that is up for adoption.

I can't do that straight away because of feelings and because of our love for Max. A good friend phoned yesterday to say it took him ten years to get over the death of his dog before getting a new one.

I know we'll get another dog. Not a puppy, because I have to puppy train all day long in the day job. I think another funny lad in his Autumn years would be ideal.

I'll get back to cigar chat soon. I think I might go and do some work and have a Monte right now.

Apologies for going on so.

[Deano]

It would be lovely of you to get another rescue dog Bryan. They're in need of a loving home, especially at that age.

[Robusto]

I think that is what we will do, Deano. In time.

I spoke to the lady who is in charge at the lab rescue centre yesterday and it's evident they always have dogs on their books who need to be adopted. I just said not yet. Eventually.

At the vet's on Wednesday, when I left Max overnight, the guy in charge was very funny and said he had 14 dogs there who could do with being taken home. In the sadness, it was bloody funny!

[G-man]

Bryan
Being an owner of 2 rescue dogs and seeing how they add a spark to our lives,My family is deeply saddened for your lose ! Hopefully Time will allow U to give another dog a loving home .

[Robusto]

Thank you gss. I do appreciate your comment very much, Sir, and everyone else's. I really do. And I apologise to anyone who thinks this thread and my feelings might be over the top.

[Robusto]

I backed out of a band commitment this evening and it's the first time I've done that since joining the band three and a half years ago. Although we're accepting Max's death here with more realism now - rather than emotions on Formula 1 - it still feels heavy. I'm having to hide my sometimes fitful tears from my younger son, and give him a hug if he becomes tearful.

I talked things through with my wife.

You feel guilty if you have too much emotion (as I have at present). Yet you feel guilty if you have no emotion.

You feel guilty because you are feeling for a pet because in the same time-frame there will have been babies miscarried and people killed in car accidents. Your grief for an animal can seem disproportionate.

I don't like feeling excessively emoted like this because I have before and it was - at its most excessive - a kosher depression. I don't like anything to remind me of sliding into that bad field. (That lack of control thing is why I stay off the booze. I like keeping a clear head. Understand me, drinking buds - I don't disapprove of booze. I just need clarity for myself).

So I've had to tell myself that this grief right now is not in the same ball-park as depression and there is nothing to worry about. One person hereabouts pointed out the difference between sadness and depression and, in doing so, helped me clear my thoughts up and will help me with my lad who says he feels depressed.

I had to work out, during the black time back then, some antidotes to depression and I've written them on here before. I could add to them. In no special order when I thought about it twelve years or so ago ...

Sex
Music
Cigars

(Funny. I was still desperately in the closet about smoking cigars twelve years ago. Fuck all that. And thanks, Deano, for giving us an Etch-a-Sketch to smoke into and brother each other up in).

I know I can now add

Love (for humans and animals)
Dogs

[Robusto]

Back at the chalkface today.

This is probably going to be the first day I won't have shed a tear or blabbed like a girl since Wednesday. There have been lots of tears between the the three of us at home currently.

I can't remember the last time I cried. It's weird what emotions can do.

What we all realise is that over the last five years, we have become dog-people and there's no stopping that.

We've started to talk about taking on a new dog over my six weeks' Summer holiday.

We will have another golden labrador. Probably an older boy, like Max, because the rescue place has told us nobody wants to adopt older dogs.

I think the difference will be that we will understand that we will only have that dog for four or five years. We didn't give his slowing down and ageing a second thought because he wasn't in pain or anything. We were inexperienced in that sense.

There's no way I could deal with a puppy. None of us here would have the patience.

Our dog was always a bit slow and not very energetic. That does actually match us as a family in many ways lol, and that's fine.

The "respect" issue for our dead pooch has to come into action. Can't just get another model.

PLUS we had such a well-behaved and affectionate animal in Max that we don't want to take on a 'destroyer' without realising it.

Also we clearly have a good number of dog lovers here on UKCF - as TJ said - so I do feel a bit less of a fool for having emoted over the last few days.

I'm off to my cabin for a phat SNUB smoke over some work and I already have a framed picture of my dear lad down there.

It has helped.

[TJCoro]

Always in our hearts.

Bryan,

Although the Coros are in the blissful state of mind, Grand Cayman, enjoying freshly rolled cuban cigars, you and Max are in our thoughts.

A quick story, if you don't mind.

Two years ago, we rescued two puppies, rather large puppies, at the very spot we are staying now. Apparently, they had been displaced by hurrican Ivan and had been living off the kindness of strangers. To make a long story short (take notes senor Robusto), the two pups, which I named Whitey and Brownie for obvious reasons, stayed with us almost the entire week until someone I like to call the BIG FUCKING PRICK, contacted Animal Control. So we spent the next two days making sure the pups would not be put down (7 day policy in Cayman).

Good fortune smiled on us and delivered a young island girl named Lindsy, who had friends who worked for the Human society. Since we had to leave, we gave her some money to take whatever measures were needed to save the pups. So before the 7 days expired, Sweet Lindsy and her friends picked up the pups and soon after found a happy home for them.

So as we sit on the beach staring out at the beach and ocean where Whitey and Brownie used to play and swim, we think warmly of you and the wonderful Max.

All our best,