Joke of the Day

[Bigboned]

Rriiiiinnnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,

'Hello'

'Hi honey.

This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No, Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause Daddy says

'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now..'

Brief Pause.

'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'

A few minutes later

The little girl comes back to the phone.

'I did it, Daddy.'

'And what happened, honey?'

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
And now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too...

He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window into the swimming pool, But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water
last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think… he's dead.'

Long Pause

Longer Pause

Even Longer Pause

Then Daddy says,



'Swimming pool?

;Is this 486-5731?'

No.... I think you have the wrong number......

[Gordonbcb]

The Top 10 jokes from this years Edinburgh Festival.........

1) Nick Helm: "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."
2) Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
3) Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."
4) Tim Key: "Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car..."
5) Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."
6) Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."
7) Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."
8) Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."
9) Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails."
10) DeAnne Smith: "My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin."

[Stevieboy]

The above posts aren't showing up properly in Tapatalk on iPhone?!?

Weird?!?

[Bigboned]

Bloody tapatalk, I created my post on iPhone tapatalk steve and a currently viewing it ok

[bigbarneyhotdog]

Apparently Tony Blair has called Colonel Gaddafi personally to ask him to stand down ..


The delusional lunatic went on for ten minutes about not being a war criminal before Gaddafi could even get a word in.

[Stevieboy]

Bloody tapatalk, I created my post on iPhone tapatalk steve and a currently viewing it ok

I don't get it?!?

Here's the screenshot if what I can see:

[cohibaIV]

Don't we have a thread for jokes..?

[TJCoro]

Bada-Bing!

Don't we have a thread for jokes..?

Yeah....whatever thread you're on! anim_61.gif


Ray Jay, Ray Jay Coro

[Bigboned]

Don't we have a thread for jokes..?

I had a quick search but nothing came up, appologies if I'm duplicating,
Please feel free to move delete ad appropriate mods

[Aussiewaz]

ROTFLMAO Bigboned, nice one!

[Bad-Yeti]

LOL nice made me chuckle

[Motormadj]

lol. good stuff. made me laugh.

[Motormadj]

The Top 10 jokes from this years Edinburgh Festival.........

2) Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."

I like Tim Vine, he's funny, I have no idea how he remembers sooo many jokes... he does about 500 in an hours stand up!