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Middlest femchild (I have three dotters) returned from a cruise to the Bahamas a couple of months ago and brought me a special gift: A REAL CUBAN CIGAR! Been saving it for a special occasion and finally decided to dig it out of the humi and fire it up.
So, for you privileged Brit cigar connoisseurs, here's my review of my Cuban Cohiba Edici?n Limitada 2007.
The first thing to note was the splendid, mottled, almost quilt-like quality of the flaky, discolored, multi-hued wrapper. Lovely touch. Then, there was a unique feature I've not seen in any cigar before: a precision-drilled pinhole about one inch from the end. This puzzled me at first, but I later came to understand its significance. Upon examining the bands of this fine Cuban stogie, I couldn't help but notice that they were, well... loose. If I hadn't known that this was a gen-you-wine Cuban, I would have thought that some scoundrel might have had the temerity to perhaps take the bands from a real Cohiba and put them on some less stellar cigar in order to pass it off as the real thing. However, after careful consideration, I came to the realization of what had actually occurred. Remember that pinhole I mentioned earlier? Well, apparently, it must have been drilled to alleviate any excess pressure which might have built up in the cigar and I think that somehow it allowed some of the air to leak out, thus reducing the diameter of the cigar and explaining the loose bands.
Anyway, enough of the cosmetics, let's get down to the good bit. After snipping off just the slightest tip (I wanted to savor every millimeter of this fine Cuban) I fired up my trusty torch and toasted the foot of the cigar. Hmmm? Maybe my toaster wasn't plugged in. Raised the flame a bit and hit it again. Hmmmm? Okay. Set the flame to industrial strength blowtorch and applied a flame approaching heat-of-the-sun temperatures to the tip whilst I commenced to puffing. Or attempted to puff, that is. Having been a smoker for some goodly number of years, I have developed a rather robust inhale. Modesty prevents me from relating the story about how I once accidentally sucked a llama through a keyhole whilst making mad passionate love to... well, that's a story for another time. Where was I? Oh, yes! So, I'm virtually arc welding the end of this cigar while at the same time applying vacuum pump negative pressure and there's no smoke. From either end. Wot the bloody hell? Funny cigars, these Cohibas, eh?
Being the scientific sort (I am a rokkit scientist after all), I revert to The Source Of All Knowledge (a.k.a. Google) to get some information on my cigar. Oddly, I am unable to find any reference to a Cuban (or any other country of origin) Cohiba with the dimensions of 7 3/8 x 48. Most strange. Even more puzzling is the fact that nowhere in the ENTIRE INTERNET is there even a single reference to the Edici?n Limitada 2007.
There's a Trinidad Edici?n Limitada 2007, Romeo y Julieta Edici?n Limitada 2007, Hoyo de Monterrey Edici?n Limitada 2007, but no Cohiba. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Bupkis.
At this point, I am beginning to become just the slightest bit suspicious.
Is it possible? Could it be? Has my darling dotter been duped? Did some scoundrel take advantage of this poor, innocent young girl's earnest intentions to do something special for her beloved papa? Still finding it hard to believe, I work at this stogie for a full fifteen minutes before finally admitting that there are some unscrupulous people out there who will stop at nothing (is nothing sacred any more? A Cohiba, f'r chrisakes) to obtain their filthy lucre.
Of course, I gave my kid a ration of shit(e) for being such a dumb bimbo, so that almost made up for the disappointment.
Anyhow, I thought you chaps might enjoy seeing my Edici?n Limitada 2007.
Middlest femchild (I have three dotters) returned from a cruise to the Bahamas a couple of months ago and brought me a special gift: A REAL CUBAN CIGAR! Been saving it for a special occasion and finally decided to dig it out of the humi and fire it up.
So, for you privileged Brit cigar connoisseurs, here's my review of my Cuban Cohiba Edici?n Limitada 2007.
The first thing to note was the splendid, mottled, almost quilt-like quality of the flaky, discolored, multi-hued wrapper. Lovely touch. Then, there was a unique feature I've not seen in any cigar before: a precision-drilled pinhole about one inch from the end. This puzzled me at first, but I later came to understand its significance. Upon examining the bands of this fine Cuban stogie, I couldn't help but notice that they were, well... loose. If I hadn't known that this was a gen-you-wine Cuban, I would have thought that some scoundrel might have had the temerity to perhaps take the bands from a real Cohiba and put them on some less stellar cigar in order to pass it off as the real thing. However, after careful consideration, I came to the realization of what had actually occurred. Remember that pinhole I mentioned earlier? Well, apparently, it must have been drilled to alleviate any excess pressure which might have built up in the cigar and I think that somehow it allowed some of the air to leak out, thus reducing the diameter of the cigar and explaining the loose bands.
Anyway, enough of the cosmetics, let's get down to the good bit. After snipping off just the slightest tip (I wanted to savor every millimeter of this fine Cuban) I fired up my trusty torch and toasted the foot of the cigar. Hmmm? Maybe my toaster wasn't plugged in. Raised the flame a bit and hit it again. Hmmmm? Okay. Set the flame to industrial strength blowtorch and applied a flame approaching heat-of-the-sun temperatures to the tip whilst I commenced to puffing. Or attempted to puff, that is. Having been a smoker for some goodly number of years, I have developed a rather robust inhale. Modesty prevents me from relating the story about how I once accidentally sucked a llama through a keyhole whilst making mad passionate love to... well, that's a story for another time. Where was I? Oh, yes! So, I'm virtually arc welding the end of this cigar while at the same time applying vacuum pump negative pressure and there's no smoke. From either end. Wot the bloody hell? Funny cigars, these Cohibas, eh?
Being the scientific sort (I am a rokkit scientist after all), I revert to The Source Of All Knowledge (a.k.a. Google) to get some information on my cigar. Oddly, I am unable to find any reference to a Cuban (or any other country of origin) Cohiba with the dimensions of 7 3/8 x 48. Most strange. Even more puzzling is the fact that nowhere in the ENTIRE INTERNET is there even a single reference to the Edici?n Limitada 2007.
There's a Trinidad Edici?n Limitada 2007, Romeo y Julieta Edici?n Limitada 2007, Hoyo de Monterrey Edici?n Limitada 2007, but no Cohiba. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Bupkis.
At this point, I am beginning to become just the slightest bit suspicious.
Is it possible? Could it be? Has my darling dotter been duped? Did some scoundrel take advantage of this poor, innocent young girl's earnest intentions to do something special for her beloved papa? Still finding it hard to believe, I work at this stogie for a full fifteen minutes before finally admitting that there are some unscrupulous people out there who will stop at nothing (is nothing sacred any more? A Cohiba, f'r chrisakes) to obtain their filthy lucre.
Of course, I gave my kid a ration of shit(e) for being such a dumb bimbo, so that almost made up for the disappointment.
Anyhow, I thought you chaps might enjoy seeing my Edici?n Limitada 2007.
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