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Sigh.
In my zeal to make all you funny-talking little people happy, trying to improve your miserable, futile, scurrying lives, I got hold of some cigars in a deal: I pimped the Don Kiki White Label (look up there ↑ in the "Title" line), only to find that they were currently (as usual) out of stock and then went ahead and filled the orders for same out of MY OWN PRIVATE STASH!
I have made a big mistake.
From the website:
"Due to limited amount of tobacco available, we don't always have them in stock. When we do, aficionados get a great treat. Don Kiki White Label Cigars are hand made in small batches. Exquisite sun grown and extremely aged virgin long-filler Cuban-Seed Habano tobacco from the harvest is combined with a flawless Connecticut wrapper that was shade-grown in Ecuador. Don Kiki proudly blends the tobacco leaves in these cigars to produce an exquisite and unique taste. The wonderful combination of fine tobacco produces clouds of smoke that will have you experiencing velvety spices, cedar and nutmeg undertones. It finishes with heady complex tastes that will not let you put it down. It is an opulent and rich cigar that needs to be experienced to be fully understood and appreciated. These very special cigars are some of the finest and rarest boutique premium cigars that you can smoke are hand-packed in a Spanish cedar cabinet box. Each box is individually signed and numbered."
So it's early in the morning here in sunny Florida and I'm looking for my first smoke of the day. "Pick me! Pick me!" call the various stoogeyii in my multitude of humidorii as I peruse my flock seeking to find what the spirit moves me to this fine day. Nope not that one. Just had one of those. Not in the mood for that thing. Glance at the Kikidor (the name I have given my humidor containing solely Cuban Crafters products) and think "Hmmm... why not? Haven't had me a White in a while." Which is true; checked out my database and see it's been over a year since last I tried one.
Pluck out the '99 Churchill, a lurvely, lurvely, 7 x 50, impeccably crafted beauty:
In my zeal to make all you funny-talking little people happy, trying to improve your miserable, futile, scurrying lives, I got hold of some cigars in a deal: I pimped the Don Kiki White Label (look up there ↑ in the "Title" line), only to find that they were currently (as usual) out of stock and then went ahead and filled the orders for same out of MY OWN PRIVATE STASH!
I have made a big mistake.
From the website:
"Due to limited amount of tobacco available, we don't always have them in stock. When we do, aficionados get a great treat. Don Kiki White Label Cigars are hand made in small batches. Exquisite sun grown and extremely aged virgin long-filler Cuban-Seed Habano tobacco from the
Pluck out the '99 Churchill, a lurvely, lurvely, 7 x 50, impeccably crafted beauty:
I will skip over the ritual cutting, lighting, comparison to Bulgarin's ?ber-sensitive flavo(u)r pilot, and the tasting stuff, the sooner my point togetting (how did Yoda get in here?).
Y'know all those references you've read and heard about a stoughie being "rich and creamy?" Welp, boys and girls, this is what they're talking about.
Look. Let's face it. What we're doing here is smoking a bunch of dried up, old tobacco leaves. They should taste like burning, dried up, old tobacco leaves. Burning dried up, old tobacco leaves has no business tasting of coffee, mocha, numeg, vanilla, chrysanthemums (or however the fuck you spell it), petrol, dog doo, your wife's private parts or anything but dried up, old tobacco leaves. Yet they do. Burning dried up old tobacco leaves have no business being smooth and silky, complex, heady, peppery, or bold. Yet they manage to exhibit exactly these qualities. Strangest fucking experience... Guess that's what makes smoking dried up, old tobacco leaves such a mystery to them's what don't.
So, where was I? Oh, yes!
So I'm smoking my 1999 White and I'm like getting these smokegasms from the fact that this extraordinarily mild, chock full o' subtle flavo(u)rs, impeccably constructioned stougheye is coating my innards with the feeling that you got when you were a kid drinking cream soda. Now, I don't know if you folks over there on that -----> side of the puddle even know what cream soda is (more's the pity if you don't), but it's this carbonated soft drink with a predominantly vanilla flavo(u)r, sweet, with an eminently satisfying (particularly when you're a kid and favo[u]r sweet things) effect, if not drinkened too cold, in which case it would give me a headache, don't axe me why 'cos I don't know.
It's like one of those things that immediately throws you back to happy childhood memories: new-mown hay, mum's freshly baked bread, the smell of when the lit matches you threw at the cat ignited its fur.
The White is doing this to me. I'm as happy as a little girl.
Alluvasudden, it hits me!
Holy fucking Jewboy H. Cripes on a crutch, Joseph, Mary, and the ass they rode in on!
The White is an extremely limited production see-gar. It is produced in small batches each year, with each year's batch never to be seen again. Once they are gone, they're gone. Forever. Maybe even longer. My already severely depleted stash has just been further depleted by my desire (arrogance? stupidity?) to make a few less-fortunate-than-myselves Brits happy.
What the fuck was I thinking!?
I could have taken a few of my cherished El Fuma del Suomi's, put the White band on 'em, and they never would'a knowed the difference. They would have been happy; I would have been even happier!
Fuck, fuque, fugg, fruck, fructose!
I will never, ever make this mistake again. The next batch of Whites, the 2002's, will be coming out eventually. I am determined to buy (at least) two boxes of each vitola, sticking one of each somewhere deep, deep in one of my many humidorii (note that these stoughies age extraordinarily well), the other to be sampled from time to time. The other thing to note is that, like many Don Kiki/Cuban Crafters products, they are ridiculously cheap. My '99 and '2000 boxes went for under $3 (USD Americanian money), approx. ?2 Britischer Geld, per stick. The 2001's were going for a bit more $3.00-$3.50 (do your own conversion) and I fully expect the '02 will be a tad -- but no more than a smidge -- more.
What was I thinking?
Y'know all those references you've read and heard about a stoughie being "rich and creamy?" Welp, boys and girls, this is what they're talking about.
Look. Let's face it. What we're doing here is smoking a bunch of dried up, old tobacco leaves. They should taste like burning, dried up, old tobacco leaves. Burning dried up, old tobacco leaves has no business tasting of coffee, mocha, numeg, vanilla, chrysanthemums (or however the fuck you spell it), petrol, dog doo, your wife's private parts or anything but dried up, old tobacco leaves. Yet they do. Burning dried up old tobacco leaves have no business being smooth and silky, complex, heady, peppery, or bold. Yet they manage to exhibit exactly these qualities. Strangest fucking experience... Guess that's what makes smoking dried up, old tobacco leaves such a mystery to them's what don't.
So, where was I? Oh, yes!
So I'm smoking my 1999 White and I'm like getting these smokegasms from the fact that this extraordinarily mild, chock full o' subtle flavo(u)rs, impeccably constructioned stougheye is coating my innards with the feeling that you got when you were a kid drinking cream soda. Now, I don't know if you folks over there on that -----> side of the puddle even know what cream soda is (more's the pity if you don't), but it's this carbonated soft drink with a predominantly vanilla flavo(u)r, sweet, with an eminently satisfying (particularly when you're a kid and favo[u]r sweet things) effect, if not drinkened too cold, in which case it would give me a headache, don't axe me why 'cos I don't know.
It's like one of those things that immediately throws you back to happy childhood memories: new-mown hay, mum's freshly baked bread, the smell of when the lit matches you threw at the cat ignited its fur.
The White is doing this to me. I'm as happy as a little girl.
Alluvasudden, it hits me!
Holy fucking Jewboy H. Cripes on a crutch, Joseph, Mary, and the ass they rode in on!
The White is an extremely limited production see-gar. It is produced in small batches each year, with each year's batch never to be seen again. Once they are gone, they're gone. Forever. Maybe even longer. My already severely depleted stash has just been further depleted by my desire (arrogance? stupidity?) to make a few less-fortunate-than-myselves Brits happy.
What the fuck was I thinking!?
I could have taken a few of my cherished El Fuma del Suomi's, put the White band on 'em, and they never would'a knowed the difference. They would have been happy; I would have been even happier!
Fuck, fuque, fugg, fruck, fructose!
I will never, ever make this mistake again. The next batch of Whites, the 2002's, will be coming out eventually. I am determined to buy (at least) two boxes of each vitola, sticking one of each somewhere deep, deep in one of my many humidorii (note that these stoughies age extraordinarily well), the other to be sampled from time to time. The other thing to note is that, like many Don Kiki/Cuban Crafters products, they are ridiculously cheap. My '99 and '2000 boxes went for under $3 (USD Americanian money), approx. ?2 Britischer Geld, per stick. The 2001's were going for a bit more $3.00-$3.50 (do your own conversion) and I fully expect the '02 will be a tad -- but no more than a smidge -- more.
What was I thinking?
) ... the taste of burnt rubber and llama dung still lingers in my mouth months later. (I am hoping sincerely that these Don Kiki's aren't El Fuma del Suomi in disguise 
) smoked it last week lasted about an hour and a half, great smoke for the ????s
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