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Jilly Goolden, that posh-vowelled sexalot Jezabel from all those cookery slots, was once in an article in one of the colour supplements that I grubbed my way through in some Kwik Fit waiting area amongst the soiled People's Friends in an article about premium cigars for Christmas.
The article seemed to be for the big time one-off daring cigar smoker. You know, the sort of man whose balls are de-clamped by his spouse to blow rings on Boxing Day while the family sit and chuckle at him throwing up. The article was called...
Push The Fucking Boat Out, Poppets. It's Christmas After All.
Jilly was standing as if in the centre of a clock face with chubby stogie beauties all around her like the numbers around a clock. There was a suggestion of a riding crop, a waxed saddle and manacles in the half light.
Jilly was pictured doing that sucking thing that she used to do over and over when faced by an impressive grand cru. "I'm getting gooseberries and sulfur". That sort of telly bollocks.
Fortunately I managed to pin down the mechanics at the very same Kwik Fit today. The chaps had pinned Jilly's snap in the locker room. Curiously, they had airbrushed out the cigar so that one could imagine Jilly up to any number of varied telly tastings in the photograph.
Jilly Goolden, that posh-vowelled sexalot Jezabel from all those cookery slots, was once in an article in one of the colour supplements that I grubbed my way through in some Kwik Fit waiting area amongst the soiled People's Friends in an article about premium cigars for Christmas.
The article seemed to be for the big time one-off daring cigar smoker. You know, the sort of man whose balls are de-clamped by his spouse to blow rings on Boxing Day while the family sit and chuckle at him throwing up. The article was called...
Push The Fucking Boat Out, Poppets. It's Christmas After All.
Jilly was standing as if in the centre of a clock face with chubby stogie beauties all around her like the numbers around a clock. There was a suggestion of a riding crop, a waxed saddle and manacles in the half light.
Jilly was pictured doing that sucking thing that she used to do over and over when faced by an impressive grand cru. "I'm getting gooseberries and sulfur". That sort of telly bollocks.
Fortunately I managed to pin down the mechanics at the very same Kwik Fit today. The chaps had pinned Jilly's snap in the locker room. Curiously, they had airbrushed out the cigar so that one could imagine Jilly up to any number of varied telly tastings in the photograph.
(This is the truth. The article existed. It did).
Well now those guys have a real knack for airbrushing. Curious.
Seven time retired Formula One World Champion Michael Schumacher smokes a cigar after the Qualifying for the German Formula One Grand Prix at the Hockenheim. But hang on, Im no Miss Marple, but what cigar is Michael smoking ?
Proving beyond doubt that people who smoke cohiba's, drive fast, play hard and are all round good eggs.
Another Mr Moore Fact, another brick in the dream ticket cohiba fact wall.
Thanks guys
The phrase "Close but no cigar" is believed to have mid 20th Century origins whereby fairground stall owners gave them out as 'almost' prizes. First documented evidence is where the phrase was used in the 1935 print of Annie Oakley: "Close Colonel, but no cigar"
Well done mate, PM me your address and the Puro will be sent to you ASAP..
Robusto...you get a second, just on the account of posting so many...
Is that a bus-backing cock or a tumbling log up there?
I can't quite make it out.
Dale - You are too kind, my man! Very generous of you.
I'm wired to log-drop for Britain also, and if it gets me a phat one, I'm well happy.
(I only do it cos it gets me out of the doldrums).
I have an idea for a parallel competition to the herf snap. It would be Pose n Smoke By A Landmark.
Proper chuffed with that, cheers Dale. Hang on to it for the walk and I'll grab it then if okay? Save the postage.
As Sir Les Patterson would say "...I was up against some stiff competition!"
Congrats to a venerable too.
No probs mate....will bring the Cigar to the walk...! NOTE - it will be coming straight out of the humi in the morning so will be ready to smoke on the day if you want..
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