Upmann Competition.

[MarkSDMF]

There was once a man named Pat,
Who loved to puff on a big old Tat.
His wife was a bitch,
She said, "that smell makes my nose itch"
He warned "quiet, before I get up and teach you a lesson, im serious woman, im sick of it, I work all day and I come home and have to put up with your whinging and whining and..."

Oh wait, kinda trailed of there, sorry :P

[whisky77]

LOL. Nice one Neilini, reminds me of the recent Edinburgh Herf.

[celsis]

There was once a man named Pat,
Who loved to puff on a big old Tat.
His wife was a bitch,
She said, "that smell makes my nose itch"
He warned "quiet, before I get up and teach you a lesson, im serious woman, im sick of it, I work all day and I come home and have to put up with your whinging and whining and..."

Oh wait, kinda trailed of there, sorry :P

Excellent!

[Puff Scotty]

I tried all day with my lighter
The puro it got so much tighter
I puffed & I blew
but something I knew
Torcedore, you evil old blighter!

[El Catador]

There once was a bandit named 'Coro'
Who said 'I'll be back' on the 'morrow'
He gathered his 'Clan' and the journey began
and the forums fell silent with sorrow.

Then one day he returned
To share what he'd learned
Of mystery and life and trouble and strife
and losing blue balls to his wife.

[Aussiewaz]

There once was a bandit named 'Coro'
Who said 'I'll be back' on the 'morrow'
He gathered his 'Clan' and the journey began
and the forums fell silent with sorrow.

Then one day he returned
To share what he'd learned
Of mystery and life and trouble and strife
and losing blue balls to his wife.

After his wife saw his big smiley
She declared "God Almighty!"
she thought she might sleep, without a peep
but was sorely disappointed all nighty. LMAO

[Puff Scotty]

The 'Cat' & the 'Nub' went out to play,
The 'Cat' said to 'Nub' it's Cubans all day
The 'Nub' for a laugh
Cut a Magnum in half
saying "Don't call me Shorty - Okay!

apologies to any intended victims!

[El Catador]

The 'Cat' & the 'Nub' went out to play,
The 'Cat' said to 'Nub' it's Cubans all day
The 'Nub' for a laugh
Cut a Magnum in half
saying "Don't call me Shorty - Okay!

apologies to any intended victims!

[tippexx]

There once was a bandit named 'Coro'
Who said 'I'll be back' on the 'morrow'
He gathered his 'Clan' and the journey began
and the forums fell silent with sorrow.

Then one day he returned
To share what he'd learned
Of mystery and life and trouble and strife
and losing blue balls to his wife.

Whisk wants a Limerick you patched-up twit .... not rappers couplets!

5 lines .... like this.

A silly young Seik from Lahore
Bred beetles in his humidor
Mitch save me, he cried
When he looked inside
Finding dust and puro's no more.

[Aussiewaz]

Sorry Tippex, I too have failed.

not rappers couplets

I'm not down with the linguistic brothers. LMAO I spose I just aint got the shizzle.

I suppose I should be corrected,
for the humor poorly injected.
I tried to be funny,
but came off a bit runny
I assume my talents are infected.

[El Catador]

Whisk wants a Limerick you patched-up twit .... not rappers couplets!

[Puff Scotty]

To the guys on the Forum I'd say
Australia not raining g'day
poor Waz got no shizzle
stands out in the drizzle
yet smoked his Cohiba half way....

Yo Waz, what's Shizzle, can I get some?

[El Catador]

Umm... I have no idea what you people are talking about.

[Aussiewaz]

To the guys on the Forum I'd say
Australia not raining g'day
poor Waz got no shizzle
stands out in the drizzle
yet smoked his Cohiba half way....

Yo Waz, what's Shizzle, can I get some?

ROTFLMAO. I wouldnt have a friggin clue what "Shizzle" is as I'm not black american and I dont wear my pants around my knees.

N.B. Even my wife smokes Cohibas more than half way. We dont listen to Davidoff.

[Aussiewaz]

Umm... I have no idea what you people are talking about.

Funny anecdote El Cat, no customers are allowed in my shop with a cap on backwards. Turn it around or I dont want your money. A cap backwards tells me they have undergone at least a partial lobotomy.