Upmann Competition.

[moidoid]

There was an old boy from the Clyde,
Whose Cohibas his wife couldn't abide,
She forced him to choose
Never thinking she'd lose
So he's now doing ten years inside.

[Pilot]

Of all the things worthwhile
Few are so graced and gentile,
As to hold a cigar
And stand tall like a Czar,
Weathering storms in good style.

[Simon-JG-hr]

Very nice Pilot, sums up a lot of what cigars are about. Graceful, and empowering - but importantly, an opportunity to just think and ponder for an hour or so (and what better way is there to weather a storm than to rationalise it over a storm).

[seanbeer]

The earth, the sky and the air.
We love, we hate and we dare.
What the heck?
Scratch you head.
Light up and you will think its fair!

[tippexx]

A Dirty Rat banker called Sancho,
Smuggled Fauxhiba hid in his poncho,
Non Such! Cried old Punch,
You?re the worst of the Wunch!,
And spitted him with his Lancero.




Wunch. Collective term for Bankers.

[moidoid]

Wunch. Collective term for Bankers.

[El Loco]

Pip pip, cheerio, jolly rot,
You guy's in the U.K. smoke alot,
NC's make you whine,
CC's y'all find sublime,
In the end we all smoke what we've got !

[linfield100]

There was a young stripper named Bon Bon
Who teased everyone with a Don Juan
One day, Sam, the lodger
Whipped out his todger,and said
Here, get some smoke out of this one


Filth, I know. But it's what I'm good at.

[richgirling]

There once was a young man called Lee
He loved to go climbing the NUB tree
He slipped with a bump
Fell down like a lump
Now only smokes the occasional CC!

There once was a man called El Catador
He didn’t like NCs anymore
He shook the NUB tree
Dislodging old Lee
And said "That 460 won’t satisfy me"!

Now eggy witnessed the aforementioned affray
He said “we’ll settles this with a smoke off today”
He looked in his humi
Which was kinda roomy
“On no I smoked em all yesterday”!

“Now gentlemen please some decorum”
Shouted Simon as he entered the forum
“We’ll settle this row
With one of my reviews that’s just how”
And posted one on the UKC forum.

Now Deno logged onto the forum
He was not best pleased with what opened before him
He said “oi you’re banned”
“One week that’s my stand”
And took charge of the UKC forum.

I know it was only meant to be one entry each but I'm having such fun with this.
You can count me out of the competition and I'll just keep entertaining myself!

[leperaffinity]

Very good!

thanks


sat in the garden, lighter lid cocked,
drink to one side, not to be knocked,
what a life this is
says Leper's mrs
and THATs why my humi's now LOCKED!

[Pandyboy]

There once was a boy called Duncan
Who loved a sly H Upman
Along came his wife with a big carving kinfe
And cut the tip of his truncheon!

Sent from my X10i using Tapatalk

[Robusto]

Whilst in this non-smoking hotel
I torched up and put out a ripe smell
Of sexy leaf lit
And hot bullock shit
And wound up in an Edinburgh cell

[Robusto]

I brought a note book up here to tart up some song lyrics in the mangle.
This is more fun, Craig.

[eggopp]

LMAO very entertaining to say the least

There once was a young man called Lee
He loved to go climbing the NUB tree
He slipped with a bump
Fell down like a lump
Now only smokes the occasional CC!

There once was a man called El Catador
He didn?t like NCs anymore
He shook the NUB tree
Dislodging old Lee
And said "That 460 won?t satisfy me"!

Now eggy witnessed the aforementioned affray
He said ?we?ll settles this with a smoke off today?
He looked in his humi
Which was kinda roomy
?On no I smoked em all yesterday?!

?Now gentlemen please some decorum?
Shouted Simon as he entered the forum
?We?ll settle this row
With one of my reviews that?s just how?
And posted one on the UKC forum.

Now Deno logged onto the forum
He was not best pleased with what opened before him
He said ?oi you?re banned?
?One week that?s my stand?
And took charge of the UKC forum.

I know it was only meant to be one entry each but I'm having such fun with this.
You can count me out of the competition and I'll just keep entertaining myself!

[neilini]

it was a cold winters day
and out for a smoke i did stray,
wearing thermal under crackers
i still froze off my knackers
as i puffed on the RYJ