Who is responsible for this?

[Lionhound]

celsis, old goat custard, this is how your mum taught you to thank a stranger who does you a wee favour? By tormenting him? By causing him to endure a tongue lashing from the wife ("What? More fucking stinky cigars?!")? I'm sure I told you not to feel obligated, that it was my pleasure to be able to help you out and at the same time reduce the agglomeration in my "Man Cave." I see the Royal Mail identification on the packet and hope against hope that it might be a tea bag or some scones or even flavoured glow-in-the-dark condoms, but noooooo....... It's more of those things that I already don't have room for the ones I have of which to say nothing of those arriving from distant exotic places to augment the overflow. Och, laddie! What were you thinking? Now, if you'd wanted to be a grateful chappie, you'd have sent along a wee 7-drawer, 400 stick capacity humidor! But I suppose the gentlemanly thing to do would be to thank you for your thoughtfulness (they are, after all, some primo stogies) even though I'll probably end up shredding the damn things and mixing them into the dog's chow.

Rookkit, Rokkit, Rokkit, my old friend you've got us British Islander type chaps alll wrong!!! We've all worked out your dark secret, so no need to feel ashamed and keep up the pretence any more. Its no shame to admit that you're not really a highly intelligent, if slightly eccentric, and (of course) devilishly handsome sooper dooper NASA top sekkritt rokkit scientist. We all know that in reality you are just a simple country boy busy all day interfering with....oops, sorry, taking care of your llama herd in the backwoods and bartering fleeces etc for the odd stogie.
What we chaps do find offensive is your constant protestation that you are short of humi space for storage. Its common knowledge this side of the pond that the national pass time for all you 'Merican type country chaps is sitting on your porches in the sun on your rocking chairs whittling. As such, surely instead of complaining you would be better employed selecting from one of the nice mature trees on your homestead, chopping it down and getting yourself settled on the stoop in your chair and get yourself down to whittlin' it into a nice ol homemade rustic humi jus like your pappy an' grandpappy probably did before you. That way you would surely solve your storage worries and be ready for some nice bombs from us ever generous chaps over here.
Hope this solves your dilemma and remember, once you get it down to a fine art, don't feel embarrassed about sending me one of your efforts over to use (I've only got a 30 size one just now).

Nice bomb Celsis, to a deserving recipient.

[jdawg]

Nice one Lionhound! LOL

Us country folk do sure like to whittle, right Rokk?

[68TriShield]

me.

[crisdean]

Well what's wrong with those cigars or am I missing the point here? Why complain. They look decent or is this guy a non smoker?

Scratching me heeeeeed.

[moppy]

Well what's wrong with those cigars or am I missing the point here? Why complain. They look decent or is this guy a non smoker?

Scratching me heeeeeed.

Hes a leetle crazy.

[Simon Bolivar]

No, just think he doth protest too much, even for irony

[rokkitsci]

Sorry, sorry...

Well what's wrong with those cigars or am I missing the point here? Why complain. They look decent or is this guy a non smoker?

Scratching me heeeeeed.

Keep forgetting some of you n00bs don't understand either my Yank humo(u)r nor have read enough of my posties to know that I am just a wee bit eccentric.

Eckshuelly (did I pronounce that correctly?), I am very humbly appreciative of Sir Celsis'ses's most excellent bombation, christine, old frog. I was trying to sound sarcastical whilst conveying the fact that I am truly flattered by his completely unnecessary gratuity.

Ermmm... just asking for a friend, you understand, but why on ghodz grene erdth would I be an active participant on a fooking SEEGAR forum if I were an non-smooker?

[Simon-JG-hr]

Why indeed...?

Troll...

Distinctly average CIA operative (what other kind is there?) working against the Cubans...

Internet dueller...

Attention seeking drama queen...

I've seen them all (and many more besides).