Whisky! You know when something hits the spot...

[cj121]

...at the right time?

Had a 'mare of a time with the car this morning, but took the opportunity to grab a smoke whilst on the job, which helped the stress levels a bit.

However, when the posty arrived with a wee cardboard box, I thought
"what the fugs this, I've ordered nowt"

Opened the bugger up to find two fine smokes and a cute little LCDH jet lighter, courtesy of our fine BOTL, Whisky77

Craig, you lifted me no end this morning mate and your timing was uncanny (not in a not-Scots type way, it was very canny, if you ken?). Even my wife went "aah, that's nice"

Top man, and thank you very much

[skyhigh]

for sure Whisky has been spreading the love about most generously lately, what with bombs and compos, he's a grand chap ain't he.

[MaledettoToscano]

Well done Whisky! A real BOTL

[kingcohiba]

very cool! sorry to hear about the battery, tbh i better get one myself, i can tell it is wearing down, and i dont want to have the bother an emergency change!

[jdawg]

very nice, CJ!

well done, Mr. Whisk!

[Deano]

Top draw whiskey, nice job!

[whisky77]

Road side.

You are welcome mate. All part of the BOTL road side service.

[rokkitsci]

I have an idea

You are welcome mate. All part of the BOTL road side service.

A minute, please, whilst I wipe the tear from me eye...

Okay. Thanks. All composed now.

So I'm thinking: You chaps are perhaps the finest bunch of blokes it has been my pleasure to meet anywhere, IRL or e. I feel like I know some of you better than many of my corporeal "friends." The only problem is that you're so fucking far away!

Then, it hit me!

And after I revived from the blow, I formulated my Grand Plan.

I went over to NASA Headquarters and used the NASA Sooper-Sekrit RealFast Megacalculator and combination coffee maker to do some simulations on what it would take to move Ingleland! After all, it's just a little, itty bitty island... only this |<------->| big on the map.

So, the results from the NASA SSRFMCCCM indicate its possible we could relocate the entire UK to a point just offshore central Florida with a bit of coordinated effort.

According to the UKCF statistics, we have over 800 members, of which more than 200 are active. If we can stimulate some of the shirkers and all participate in my Grand Plan, we're most of the way there.

Think of it! Having the UK near sunny Florida is a win-win situation for everyone! No more dreary, wet, cold winters. Maybe you folk would even learn to talk good, like us United Statesians. Gone would be the outrageous fees for posting a few select stoogies to fellow BOTL's who may be on the wrong side of the pond (which would now be a mere puddle). And best of all, we could charter us a big-ass fishing boat and all get together periodically for many pints and some excellent smokes and maybe even catch a fish or two whilst we swap lies and brag about the size of our wive's/girlfriend's/whatever bosoms.

Now, according the SSRFMCCC, your isle can be moved with a coordinated effort of dedicated rowers, one set on each side, with some walkie talkies or cans on a string to make sure everyone is in synch. Figuring we can get maybe half the "inactives" to get off their sorry arses and participate in The Plan, that gives us more than 500 hearty blokes for a start.

Alls we need is to recruit 3,287,462 more chaps and with a concerted rowing effort, allowing for smoke breaks, Great Britain would be sitting merrily adjacent Cape Canaveral in only 276 years, 3 months, 4 days, and a few odd minutes (depending on the wind) later!

So, lads, whaddya think?

[whisky77]

i`m in.

I think you could seriously be onto something with this George, especially as I have a couple of walkie talkies in my garage doing nothing.

I, for one, am in.

[satch]

I have had my moments of pretty serious crappiness this past year and that man, His Whiskyness, has done me no end of good.
He's put a smile on my miserable mug to start the new year.
We should start up a Knights of the Sacred Order of BOTL.
I hereby nominate Whisky 77.

[Robusto]

Are we going to cross the pond like Cubans with Cubans?

[satch]

Can I be at the front keeping time with the big kettledrums

[Robusto]

We need a MISTERBULGARIN logo on a big blimp...

[Robusto]

...In fact I'd love to travel with these like this...

[Robusto]

...Beats the day job...