Rocket Man

[Nuno Sa]

I take my hat of again to Rokkitsci, well done indeed. You been making me laugh a lot lately, almost to the point were i just only keep a trace in my memory of a gut with multiple personality disorder that once posted here.

[G-man]

[QUOTE=rokkitsci;54846]Damn it to hell and the horse he rode in on, Joseph and Mary!

Shite(e), shit(e), shit(e), shit(e), shit(e), shit(e)!!!!!

I had two parcels I was working on: one for you and one for the Postmaster General.

I was going to beg him to re-instate me with a nice bribe and it looks like I switched the addresses on the packets.

Shite(e), shit(e), shit(e), shit(e), shit(e), shit(e)!!!!!

I don't think he's going to be very happy with the fiver of my El Fuma del Suomi Ballaboosta Elegante Culebras

AHHHHHHHHHH I can smell the aroma of recycled Pastrami and Jewish mustard! I fell like I got giped. 5 f-in stickin cgars ! george first you send PP to the wrong account then you send prime lunch to the wrong recipitant. Now I'm hungry and with the snow how the hell am I going to
get my hands on something so smooth and creamy?

[kingcohiba]

GMAN! you are crazy! lol he sent me the payment by accident....wish he had sent the smokes instead! lmao we might not be having this discussion haha!

[Habana-Habanos]

I love rokkit. Such a funny man. Even though his jokes scare me at times.

[rokkitsci]

Why Can't You UK-ers Talk English?

I just don't get it.

Now, I'm a man of the world and I know you funny-sounding people have some odd words for things, like lorry instead of truck and you call an elevator a lift. I really think it has something to do with that Shakingbeer fellow. You seem to have an odd affinity for him er sump'n. I remember when we had to read his stuff in school and the book would have what he wrote on one page, and then, on the facing page, would be the English translation. Seems that although thousands of years have passed, you people still want to talk like him.

Primo example de facto de jeur: This El Cat-in-the-door guy. Seems like a reallly nice bloke (see? I can talk like you if I wanna), but he just can't seem to talk fuckin' ENGLISH.

I 'doff my cap', 'tug at my forelock (no sniggering at the back), and, 'prostrate myself'

I have no idea WTF he's talking about. Below, I'm going to show you a PM he wrote to me, too. Both this postie and the PM were gibberish and I had to get my friend Billy Joe Bob, who had a two-hour layover once in Heathrow as he was bringing his Turkmenistani bride back to Arkansas, translate them for me.

F'rinstance, the catman is doffing his hat. Now Billy Joe Bob assures me this has something to do with spanking the monkey (what you folks call wanking). Then he's tugging at his forelock. Which Billy Joe Bob tells me is more wanking, since he's tugging at his flap of skin on the end of his wiener. Then he's talking about some folks "sniggering" in the back, which sounds like other people are doing it too. And finally, he's babbling something about prostituting hisself. I mean this dude is seriously obsessed with his unit, I'd say.

So then we get to the PM kittyboy wrote me earlier today in response to the PM I sent him acknowledging receipt of his packet. I'm not sure he's really right in the mind in the first place (if you catch my meaning).

Hi George

I've only just returned home after a few days away and picked up my messages and post.

I really shouldn't tell you this (you might be one of them 'pinko's' who keep hiding under beds), but what the hell.

I've been working undercover (hence no Internet access), at a 'gig' in Copenhagen where I was operating as one of President Obama's personal chauffeurs.

I had the great honour of being attached to the 'Bark 'n' Ride' division, and was assigned the privileged ('plum') job of being driver to 'Bo' (the Portuguese water dog).

It was great fun but a little stressful, the little monkey has the libido of a syphilitic Greek sailor, and his antics at the Chinese Ambassadors party almost caused a diplomatic incident. He kept trying to shove 'Ferrero Rocher' chocolates up the 'bum' of a little Pekinese bitch! Thank God nobody found the table tennis bat.

Anyhow, as a consequence, I've only just retrieved your parcel from MI5 (They'd been using a remote controlled vehicle to x-ray the package you sent, apparently you're award-winning 'Georky' shares the same structural and chemical properties as unrefined 'unobtainium').

They took some convincing, but have now accepted that the contents are only dangerously 'explosive' when exposed to human gastric juices, and, as such, present little danger to UK citizens. Due to the fact that both 'backy' and 'jerky' chewing were outlawed here back in the 60's (it was either that or free love). Sadly, this resulted in the majority of our own, home grown 'red-neck's' emigrating to the US of A where I believe they settled somewhere near Kansas.

This boy has some serious problems with paranoia and delusions of grandeur. Personal chauffeur to Our Lord Barracks O'Bomber? I don't fuckin' think so. Like he would trust some foreigner to cook for him?

Billy Joe Bob tells me that this Bo the port of geese water dog is some bizarre euphemism for a Royal douche, i.e. yet another example of you United Kingdomian's oedipal obsession with the crown.

And not even Billy Joe Bob knew who Ferrero Rocher was. Best guess us could come up with is that it was prolly another one o' them comedian fellers you think is so funny when they dress up like old ladies. Another manifestation of your hang-up with the royal mum, if you axe me. Or even if you don't.

Ennywayze, I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. I just don't understand why you people can't talk good and write clear, concise ideas with words everyone can understand, like me.

[rokkitsci]

Hunh?

I love rokkit. Such a funny man. Even though his jokes scare me at times.

No need to be a'scared HabHab, some of my best friends are gay (what you people call poofs, I believe [although here in the US of byghodz A, a poof is one o' them really high, frizzy hairdos, not a bad word for a faggot {which is what you people call a cigarette, if I'm not mistaken }])